Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

bumping into my ex's affair partner 7 years on

(24 Posts)
Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 14:07:48

Seven years ago, my boyfriend left me for another woman. We finished once the affair was in the open ( though there was alot of him coming back, me kicking him out again etc) they married 8 months later on the sly, without his family even knowing we had even broken up, this was also a day after he had been round my house begging forgivness yet again. Anyway 7 years down the line (started to get my life back on track, which was tough.) I was coming out of the supermarket, full of pride and joy as my daughter just got all the A's and A*'s she needed for her physics university offer, and i saw this shrivery old crone looking bitterly at me, waiting in the queue. As I walk past my mates also in the queue shouted out well done, you must be proud of your daughter, so I walk away full of smiles, smiling at the crony women thinking bad day, cheer up love. Turns out the bitter crone was the same women who dumped her 2 teenage kids to be with my ex 7 years ago in January. This old hag who still has no friends, and no children living with her to be proud of. It made my day!

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 14:09:35

She is still married to him which is why she looks so old and bitter!

aquawoman Sun 25-Sep-16 14:12:05

I think seven years down the line you should be over it to be honest.

Is he the father of your child?

Lunar1 Sun 25-Sep-16 14:12:45

Congratulations to your dd!

UmbongoUnchainedInAPearTreeeee Sun 25-Sep-16 14:14:02

Ha that's karma for you!

fastdaytears Sun 25-Sep-16 15:52:37

Well done to your DD.

I would focus on that. You don't sound all that over it when you describe this woman. I thought you were going to say it was all last year or something.

Think you might be projecting when you say that she looks "bitter"! Not sure how anyone can stand in a queue in a bitter fashion.

fastdaytears Sun 25-Sep-16 15:53:54

Ha that's karma for you!

I'm not sure what karma has done here! She is still married and stands in supermarket queues. That's all we know about her.

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 16:17:38

Yes he is the father, and aquawoman, it took along time to get over as I lost my home, and had to start all over again from scratch. Took me over 4 years to a decent place to live I could afford. I guess am smug as she used to send me really nasty texts but never had the balls to talk to me if she saw me in the street. My daughter was going to the school near where we lived with her dad. Hadn't been to that shop in years partly due to low self esteem and feeling humiliated, so it was nice to have mates congratulating me under her nose. She abandoned her own kids to be with my ex and wanted my ex to go down the same route. When I say bitter I just meant her expression.

WinchesterWoman Sun 25-Sep-16 16:23:27

Don't blame you.i recently blanked a woman id been really good friends with because seven years ago she was unkind to my daughter. Blanked her instantly then and forever. I would however cultivate a more 'not interested nothing to do with me' approach. Saves the effort of bitter gloating.

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 16:23:37

And yes, karma is a good word, as in the years I was getting on my feet, she was busy trying to build a relationship that was based on so much destruction for all our families, she still has made no friends where she lives and she is never gonna feel the proud moment that you get. Just made my day that's all !

UmbongoUnchainedInAPearTreeeee Sun 25-Sep-16 16:26:48

She shags someone else's husband and now she looks like a troll. Karma is the perfect word!

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 16:27:09

Oh i didn't gloat in front of her, I think I prob smiled at her cos I was happy at seeing so many friends, I actually didn't realise it was her until one of my old neighbours told me a few days ago

Elland Sun 25-Sep-16 16:27:46

Karma is the perfect word!

fastdaytears Sun 25-Sep-16 16:28:15

I would however cultivate a more 'not interested nothing to do with me' approach. Saves the effort of bitter gloating

This, for sure. You are wasting headspace on this.

aquawoman Sun 25-Sep-16 16:29:48

Well her stepdaughter has just got great grades and got into Uni. Maybe she also feels proud, after all she must have been just starting secondary when they got together. Maybe the woman also deserves some credit?

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 16:33:39

But I did clock her face because she was looking at me, hence why I noticed her, but as I didn't recognise her at the time I thought it was cos its a queue. But last time I saw pics of her was the wedding pics she put on facebook looking triumphant, so seeing her looking so old and haggard was a bit if a surprise, but then I think being lumped with him and grieve for not seeing her kids must of taken its toll.

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 16:40:28

Aquawoman, she made contact very difficult, and he was only allowed her 1 night a week, about 4 hours on total, her terms but his decision. He never kept up with the visits anyway, and they were regularly cancelled last minute as he didn't want his new wife to be there. Then about 3 years ago he only saw her 3-4 times as he was working. So, no she was def not proud step mum, as my daughter would have at least recognised her.

fastdaytears Sun 25-Sep-16 16:42:57

So, no she was def not proud step mum, as my daughter would have at least recognised her

Your daughter was with you and didn't recognise her? That is weird. Did she not say hi to your daughter? I would be more surprised by that than by her looking wrinkled! Surely she would have wanted to say well done or something?

HappyJanuary Sun 25-Sep-16 16:52:20

I like to think I'm over exDH's affair, but seven years or seventy I will still feel satisfaction if I pass ow in the supermarket looking like shit, and doubly so if I'm having an amazing day at the time.

Ldnmum2015 Sun 25-Sep-16 17:36:51

It was exactly that happyjanuary, its a very long winded story, both the affair, discovering it and the aftermath, then after his dramas, rebuilding my life, then losing my my job (not his fault), having to move 3 times in the last 5 years, but still I kept my priorities, which was ensuring my daughter has a good start and learns good decision making. It took alot of hard work on my part, and it was a very lonely time for me , but we got there! I also felt secretly relieved, as he never encouraged his daughter and if I had stayed with him she wouldn't be doing her degree now. To fill in a bit more both he and his affair partner wanted space (over a year in total) from the kids to 'bond and get to know each other', I had to go to the courts to make him maintain contact, on the times he did have her after school the step mum made herself scarce, so my daughter only meet her a few times if that, but that was over 6 years ago.

SandyY2K Sun 25-Sep-16 17:45:52

You've every right to be smug OP and well done to your DD. I do wonder when people reply in a certain way to posts like this whether they are made from the same stuff as the bitter woman.

You've clearly done a great job with DD and of course having those congratulations is fabulous.

Sunshineonacloudyday Sun 25-Sep-16 17:47:15

She left her own children didn't she see them.

Ninasimoneinthemorning Sun 25-Sep-16 17:53:22

Ignore aqua woman - OW deserves credit?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ how much glue have you been sniffing today!

Well done for your dd op and fab bit of karma on a Sunday! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ ๐ŸŒŸ

CrikeyJoseph Sun 25-Sep-16 18:13:58

Aqua are you reading this thread confused

Exdh and ow barely see OP dc. They deserve FUCK ALL credit.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now