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Relationships

Joint bank account...what if???

126 replies

Upandaway0987 · 24/09/2016 08:53

Your OH took 2000 pounds out of your joint bank and didn't discuss it with you would you do? Would you expect him or her to discuss it with you first?

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AgentProvocateur · 24/09/2016 08:55

Depends what he/she used it for? A surprise holiday - fine. A night at the casino - not fine.

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ShatterResistant · 24/09/2016 08:57

Yes. That kind of money doesn't go anywhere without discussion and decision. Why do you ask?

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FaithLoveandHope · 24/09/2016 08:58

I would definitely expect him to discuss it with me first. Although we do have individual accounts as well as our joint. The joint is used for bills and rent and then any big joint purchases we discuss first and each add more to the joint if necessary. Anything else we pay for out of our separate accounts so I'd be pretty pissed off if he took out 2000 from our joint without discussing it first. I guess it depends on your setup though?

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AyeAmarok · 24/09/2016 09:00

Yes, of course I'd expect a discussion for that sum of money.

Is it more likely to be for an engagement ring, or something not so good?

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NerrSnerr · 24/09/2016 09:01

It depends what £2000 means to you. For us that is loads of money and I would expect it to be discussed.

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Upandaway0987 · 24/09/2016 09:01

H had done it, not discussed it - just gone ahead and done it and still not said anything now. I found out via the bank. Wondering what other peoples views were

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DollyBarton · 24/09/2016 09:02

What was it used for? In our house he would likely say it to me but we shift money around our accounts all the time, it might not even noticed.

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AppleJac · 24/09/2016 09:05

You need to ask him what it was for and then go from there

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NerrSnerr · 24/09/2016 09:07

Have you asked him what he's done with it?

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PotteringAlong · 24/09/2016 09:07

Depends what he's done with it. Shifted to another account because he realised it had higher interest? Fine. Surprise holiday? Fine but I might be a bit twitchy. 4000 packets of scampi fries? Not ok.

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Upandaway0987 · 24/09/2016 09:08

We have our own accounts, joint is for all bills, house etc. H has moved the money to his own account. I always talk to him about what we do with our joint money, any big purchase etc

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Nakupenda · 24/09/2016 09:09

I'd be okay with 4000 packets of scampi fries. I'd eat every packet in silent protest.

Seriously though, why not just ask him? If your relationship is in fine nick why not ask him instead of a forum of strangers?

If the joint account is for joint money it's not okay to take £2k without so much as a passing comment on why.

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Upandaway0987 · 24/09/2016 09:12

Can't ask him, he's away. I'm so cross and upset

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PotteringAlong · 24/09/2016 09:12

If he's moved it all to his account then I'd say he was preparing to leave you.

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NormaStanleyFletcher · 24/09/2016 09:13

You have to talk about this.

Is there any reason you feel you can't?

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YouAreMyRain · 24/09/2016 09:14

Sadly I agree with pottering. Where is he? Who with?

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NerrSnerr · 24/09/2016 09:14

Is he not contactable at all? Not even via text or email? If just send a message saying what was that £2k for?

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pollyblack · 24/09/2016 09:14

Yes i'd be worried about this. We generally discuss anything over an "everyday" purchase.

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RedMapleLeaf · 24/09/2016 09:16

How much is left? £2k is worth about two months of my bills and would be the most I'd keep in there.

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RedMapleLeaf · 24/09/2016 09:17

How far away is he? Can't you just ask?

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NerrSnerr · 24/09/2016 09:17

Could there be a rational explanation? Do you have credit cards or loans that he took the money out to pay off and he forgot to tell you?

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AnyFucker · 24/09/2016 09:19

Unless he is a submariner or peace keeping in Aleppo or summat of course you can ask him.

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tribpot · 24/09/2016 09:24

Yes, key first thing is whether or not there is enough money in the account to cover the monthly bills. If no, WTF is he doing.

If yes, why has the money been moved to his account where you don't have access to it? And what was the money earmarked for? My budget doesn't have 'unallocated savings', it has categories for things like emergency fund, household repairs, car repairs - so stuff that could be spent but might also not be. If the money merely moves account it hasn't been removed from its fund but both partners have to understand the budget to appreciate this isn't just free-floating money, it has a purpose.

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itlypocerka · 24/09/2016 09:27

If he's away is it possible that he doesn't know about this and has had a card cloned? Could you have been robbed? You need to speak to him ASAP!

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tribpot · 24/09/2016 09:33

Don't think it can have been a cloning as the OP can see the DH has moved it to his own account. On the other hand, pretending not to have noticed this and contacting him to say you've reported it as a fraudulent transaction might help to clarify the matter!

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