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In need of advice...

(5 Posts)
Yasmine16 Sat 24-Sep-16 05:29:42

Please no bashingsad
Yesterday evening, me, my 9 week old son and my fiancé were downstairs. I was nursing my son whilst my fiancé put tea on. My fiancé turned around and said he was going to run a bath but let the water cool so he could go in later on. I thought nothing of it until he took about 20 minutes to run a bath. I went upstairs to see what he was doing and he was acting shifty and the curtains were closed (we NEVER shut the curtains).

From that second I knew what he was doing; watching porn. I'm not a woman who minds things like that but when I'm downstairs looking after our son and I've had a long day but he's upstairs having the time of his life.

When I pulled him about it he said "well if you pleasured me more"shock is he for real? After doing all the house work and looking after our son all day it's not my fault I'm not exactly up to anything! I haven't been able to sleep because my mind is doing overtime!

This had made me not want to go anywhere near him. I don't know how to go about the situation. I'm so emotionally drained.sad

GreenRut Sat 24-Sep-16 05:41:12

Op it sounds like he is an insensitive idiot but I don't think any more than that. When things are calm today I would ask him that in future he chooses a time and a place to do that when he can be certain you won't disturb him. You have every right to walk around your home freely without wondering if you'll walk in on that. Then I would tell him to have a good look for some decent material to wank to for the foreseeable future as he won't be coming near you until a) you're ready b) his attitude to your responsibility to pleasuring him changes. He can get back to you when that happens.

You have a 9 week old baby and I'm sure your head is all over the place with exhaustion and just being frazzled but unless there is a back story of him being disrespectful or demanding sex then I think he's just been a twat and reacted because he was embarrassed. Hopefully he'll apologise.

Yasmine16 Sat 24-Sep-16 05:46:05

Thank you for replying I thought I was over reacting and I couldn't put my mind to rest. It's obvious he's just being an idiot and didn't think for a second that what he said would affect me because he never thinks at the best of times. Thank you again I just needed to feel as though someone was on my sidesmile

GreenRut Sat 24-Sep-16 05:58:33

No problem, op! You'll be grand. Just keep calm when addressing it (am full of good advice that I'd never follow myself grin)

BreatheDeep Sat 24-Sep-16 07:39:21

Yeah, just ask him to time it better and hide it better if you don't want to walk in on that! Maybe he thought because you were busy with the little one he'd have time. And he was probably insensitive because he was embarrassed.

Me and DH didn't have sex for about 6 months after our son was born. He never minded and obviously I knew he must have been 'pleasing' himself but I never saw any evidence of that happening!

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