If you haven't read my previous post it's here
That was last night and this is tonight.
Once DS was in bed last night he was nice to me again. Had the offer of pizza and a film. This was after I did the three things he asked (clean the dining table, get the toys tidied away and iron a couple of shirts). He was perfectly charming most of the night. He wanted oral when we went to bed and I refused so he turned over in a huff mumbling something unintelligible and went to sleep.
This morning I'm ashamed to say, he asked me what my problem was yesterday (I had stood up for myself a bit and said I won't be spoken to like a piece of shit) and I said 'nothing I'm fine'. So off he goes to work with the request that the house is clean and tidy when he comes home.
This afternoon I turned on the (very expensive custom built gaming PC that was supposed to be just for him, but he has said that DS can watch Netflix etc on it) so DS could watch a few cartoons while I made his tea and it came up with a system update, one of the automatic windows ones. When it booted up the aspect ratio was wrong (screen doesn't line up with the monitor properly).
When dp came home from work he saw this. He is now blaming me for the screen going funny when all I did was switch it on. He's in a horrible mood again and stifled shouting at me because DS was around but I think it would have been very different had we been alone.
I feel awful because I feel like I am finally starting to see what he is but I don't want to/am too scared to leave.
My parents are divorced and their breakup was very amicable but it still devastated me. DS is so attached to dp it would totally break his heart. He is only 3 so wouldn't understand why he couldn't see his daddy.
I'm in such a mess, I don't what's wrong with me. I don't know if I should stay or go. I feel like a coward for staying but also like I'm throwing away a decade of my life and my son's stable home if I go.
It's also my birthday on Tuesday! Bloody happy birthday to me eh?
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Relationships
Please help
Hagothehills · 23/09/2016 18:24
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