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I said no to STBXH today

(36 Posts)
GettingScaredNow Thu 22-Sep-16 23:01:09

I'm the one who's ex bugged her living room then threatened to kill her and is being a shit about contact ever since.

He takes the ad hoc approach to contact. Texting to ask if he can take one to the park at such time or at the last minute.
It may seem like a little thing, but today I just said 'no' (well, I also said it was too late, but no sorry, or excuses!!)

He text at 6pm asking to take our 2 yr old to the park for an hour. Wtf!

I am in a programme to understand what happened between us and already I feel so much stronger, so much more in control.
And instead of the usual response of giving in or apologising and trying to arrange a better time or explain my answer I just said 'no, it's too late now'

I then jittered around all nervous for a while cos I didn't get a reply and history has taught me that he will be pissed off.

Such a tiny thing really but I'm so proud of me. I wanted to share this with someone!!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Thu 22-Sep-16 23:03:01

Well done for standing up against his twattishness!

GettingScaredNow Thu 22-Sep-16 23:05:15

Thank you wine

Cabrinha Thu 22-Sep-16 23:05:52

Well done!
I'm sure that every time will get easier, too smile

jeaux90 Thu 22-Sep-16 23:06:03

Well done! I know how hard that is, you will get stronger day by day. Big hug and enjoy your freedom X

fannyfanackapan Thu 22-Sep-16 23:07:17

Well done you! I ended up blocking my ex (though mine were teenagers) because it turned into passive aggressive shit.

Stand your ground, you are in control!!!!

winkywinkola Thu 22-Sep-16 23:11:06

Well done.

You stood up for yourself and your dc. They shouldn't be subject to the whims of your ex.

You've got guts. You're finding them. ! Xxx

Oilyoilyoilgob Thu 22-Sep-16 23:14:41

Well done you! Such a short word, but one that can hold so much power 'no'. Enjoy using it more in the future!

AdoraBell Thu 22-Sep-16 23:52:07

Well done you wine

nicenewdusters Fri 23-Sep-16 01:25:55

That's so good, I remember your previous thread. Small word, massive effect. I feel you're going to get a lot of usage out of that word!

DPotter Fri 23-Sep-16 01:27:23

well done

ReySkywalker Fri 23-Sep-16 01:35:23

Good for you!

Atenco Fri 23-Sep-16 06:18:35

Well done, OP, and glad to hear you're not living with him anymore.

DoreenLethal Fri 23-Sep-16 06:26:05

Good. I hope it is the first of many. flowers

ShebaShimmyShake Fri 23-Sep-16 06:33:42


HandyWoman Fri 23-Sep-16 06:43:07

Excellent, OP

<claps excitedly>

WooHOO! smile

SomethingPhishy Fri 23-Sep-16 06:59:43

Fabulous! There is a MN favourite phrase which can be employed on repeat:

'No, that doesn't work for me'

I remember your other thread. Well done!

GettingScaredNow Fri 23-Sep-16 07:21:04

Thanks so much smile
Must have really had an effect on me cos I fell asleep really quickly last night and slept really really well!
First good sleep I've had since.... I don't remember when!

Feeling very empowered today!

ptumbi Fri 23-Sep-16 07:21:58

I'm so glad you pissed him off!

So should you be - he is totally unreasonable, and probably only doing it to get at you; nothing to do with wanting to take dc to the park!


Thinkingblonde Fri 23-Sep-16 08:32:54

Well done. It'll be even easier to say no to him in future.

AyeAmarok Fri 23-Sep-16 08:37:41

Well done, first little step!

First step is always the hardest to do too, it'll feel much easier next time.

He's probably sitting there confused and that's why he hasn't replied.

alphabook Fri 23-Sep-16 08:38:59

Well done!

Mookbark Fri 23-Sep-16 08:39:24

Well done. flowers

ameliameerkat Fri 23-Sep-16 08:53:26

Go you!

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