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How do I end this friendship?

(7 Posts)
Waxlyrical1 Thu 22-Sep-16 21:47:27

I have been 'friends' this person for about 7 years. I have now come to believe that they are a narcisst.

Many times I've been angry and irritated by their behavior. I have let myself be drawn back in when the charm us turned on.

I recently decided I didn't want to be friends anymore after a period were they were avoiding me (they told me) as my ds wouldn't play with theres a t school. I backed away as this really made me think i don't actually want to be around you. So I just let it be. She didn't try and meet up snd over time realised what she is like.

I have seen her at child related things inclding school and at social events. We no longer meet alone or as families although she keeps saying we must arrange it.

Latest thing thats cemented the end was that we agreed to do each other a mutal favour to do with pucking children up. When I say agreed, I was messaged two days before it started and told how it was happening.angry like a fool I did as I was told. I got lots of snarky remarks over the three weeks since it started. The final straw was when she was really off with my 12 year old because of things she was pissed with me for. --doing pick up when my toddler throwing up--hmm

Heres the thing, every now and again she texts and asks me are we ok? Are we still friends. I have said yes as children in same class, mix with some of same people etc.

I'm wondering wether to just be straight ish if she asks again and say no sorry our friendship has fizzled out?

Thanks if you got this far.

Nb I have changed details to stop outing hopefully

Waxlyrical1 Thu 22-Sep-16 21:49:02

Oh and also wondering wether I let little dd do sleepovers with hers after her treatment of my 12 year old? confused

allthatnonsense Thu 22-Sep-16 21:53:46

Don't show your cards!

Act normal, agree "yes, let's arrange" and then make your excuses.

You'll start a war by being honest.

Waxlyrical1 Thu 22-Sep-16 21:57:13

Thanks allthat yes that did cross my mind. I guess it would just be amazing to not get the texts.

Also, want to invite a couple of familes over and not her to be completley honest but she will be pissed. I do only have a small house though. confused And her ds and mine dont get on.

2rebecca Fri 23-Sep-16 05:11:48

I'd tell her that no, you feel you have drifted apart if she asks and ignore future texts from her.

GreenRut Fri 23-Sep-16 06:01:43

I would keep it loose and breezy, non committal. So respond with a 'all good here, hope same with you!'- so you're not directly answering the question but you're not ignoring and not engaging. Have an excuse ready for any further attempts to meet up, again keeping it breezy, 'sounds good but sorry can't make it have a great time!'. She will get the message eventually!

Waxlyrical1 Fri 23-Sep-16 10:59:28

Ok so most of you tjink I should say nothing. I'm thinking thats probably best.

I am worried about her inviting my little one over as I don't feel comfortable with it.

I'm also not sure she'll let it go that easily. sad

I'm determined to not be bullied and do right by my dcs though.

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