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What to do?

(11 Posts)
idlewilde Thu 22-Sep-16 13:45:38

Long time lurker here after a bit of advice. DH and I are good friends with another couple who we see regularly - once a month at least for dinners, drinks etc. We see them together and separately. I enjoy their company. My issue is with the female of the couple who is really horrible to her DP. After a few drinks she shouts at him, tells him what he can and can't do, and totally tries to control his behaviour. She pounces on things he says and sulks/ignores him if he displeases her! It makes me feel really uncomfortable and I have wanted to say something about it in the past but she is not the most approachable person. We are having a weekend away with them soon and I am a bit anxious that her behaviour towards her DP will ruin it. Any advice?

idlewilde Thu 22-Sep-16 14:11:22


SheldonsSpot Thu 22-Sep-16 14:13:08

Cancel the weekend away.

Only see her on her own in future.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 22-Sep-16 14:13:18

Maybe steer the weekend away from being a booze up if alcohol is her trigger? Find some activities to do and while feel sorry for her dh it's really up to him to stop being a doormat!!

keely79 Thu 22-Sep-16 14:14:21

Why are you going away for a weekend with them if you feel like this? You may need to accept that they're not "couple" friends - i.e. you don't see them as a couple but only individually.

It's not really your place to say anything about how their relationship works (absent violence) and if you do you're likely to have both of them turn on you.

Perhaps you can carve out some time just for you and your partner which will also give you a break from them?

idlewilde Thu 22-Sep-16 14:15:52

Thanks for you replies. Unfortunately she is only interested in booze related activities so cancelling the weekend and just seeing her on her own may be the answer.

ALaughAMinute Thu 22-Sep-16 14:15:53

Are you sure you enjoy their company? She sounds vile!

Why not cancel the weekend and go away by yourselves?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 22-Sep-16 14:16:39

No, you don't enjoy their company. They make you uncomfortable.

Anyway, either agree with your DP that you'll leave if she starts being a shit and makes you uncomfortable. Taking the piss out of her when she starts is a good tactic with bullies too. Of course, she will then fall out with you because she's a bully and we all know bullies are great at dishing it out but they cannot take it one little bit.

Don't try to rescue her husband. He will hate you for it. And it won't work.

Buzzardbird Thu 22-Sep-16 14:17:44

I had to stop being 'friends' with someone for this same reason.

One drink in her and she was a nightmare.

Not worth the stress.

idlewilde Thu 22-Sep-16 14:18:13

Thank you rabbit. Good advice!

TheNaze73 Thu 22-Sep-16 16:01:19

She sounds horrendous. I'd cancel the weekend.

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