My sister has decided that she would like to go no contact with our dad for a while, and has told him this. There are many reasons why, dating back from our childhood, and she has had a lot of issues with him. He can be selfish, narcissistic, controlling, nasty but also caring and good fun. I agree with my sister on many of the issues she faces with our dad. But I tend to try to ignore them and accept that my dad is the way he is, and that’s that.
My dad is understandably very shocked as my sister wrote to him to explain why she wanted to go no contact for a while, giving lots of examples of past behaviour. Our dad is finding it difficult to deal with because although he and my sister have always had arguments and disagreements, he put them down to her being contrary and difficult. I don’t think he ever thought she would send him such a direct letter. He is very hurt.
Now I am stuck in the middle. My sister isn’t expecting anything from me but my dad is. He keeps telling me he doesn’t know what to think. He was going to come to visit us (DH, DD and my inlaws) for Christmas but now he has cancelled.
I don’t know what to do. I can understand my dad is hurt but he has caused both my sister and me problems in the past and I do I think he needs to seek some therapy and sort himself out. But I wish he didn’t feel he has to take a step back from me. At the same time, I can’t not agree with many points that my sister has raised and would feel disingenuous trying to support my dad by criticising my sister’s actions or disagreeing with her comments. I want to support both of them but it’s hard.
Not sure where this thread will take me but I am feeling a bit lost at the moment! My family used to be incredibly close and we spent a lot of time together. But my mum died not so long ago and now my dad and sister are no longer speaking, I feel like the whole family unit that I once knew has totally crumbled.
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Dsis going NC with Ddad, I'm stuck in the middle and feeling lost.
17 replies
EdamameCrisp · 21/09/2016 13:05
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