Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feel like it will never happen for me now

(16 Posts)
Itsnotmycoat Mon 19-Sep-16 19:48:56

I'm 32 and in a good job with my own home. I go out a lot and socliase when I can. This is mainly Saturday and Sunday as my job is quite demanding.

I have hobbies. I go to dance classes and art classes and I'm learning French. I'm chatty with people I meet. I'm not a supermodel but I don't think I'm unattractive either. I go online dating as well as asking friends if they know anyone.

I've had two serious relationships, one where we lived together.

I'm happy with my life alone but would love to meet someone to build a family home with.

I have some single friends but most are married with kids.

Why hasn't this happened for me? Starting to feel awful about it all. I've been single for 4 years.

wombattoo Mon 19-Sep-16 19:59:37

I'm sure it's not you personally. You sound like you have a very interesting life. It'll happen when you're least expecting it thanks

Myusernameismyusername Mon 19-Sep-16 20:04:02

You are not alone here. There are many of us single and sometimes wondering the same thing.

I seem to be intimidating for men who don't have their shit together and not free enough for those who do (I have kids).

30's is a weird dating age IMO!

Don't give up heart and carry on enjoying your life x

Itsnotmycoat Mon 19-Sep-16 20:22:27

It's been really hard this weekend. I really want a proper family and kids and a husband.

I've been looking into sperm donors. Just feel like giving up, and I don't know why I've suddenly felt like this... Two weeks ago I was really happy and it's all sort of hit me now that I may be alone indefinitely.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 19-Sep-16 20:43:48

Maybe sperm donation or adoption is the way forward? Not in a you won't meet someone way but taking control of your destiny and your desire for a child. It's so much more talked about nowadays and becoming more common for single women to choose.

fastdaytears Mon 19-Sep-16 20:45:18

Lots of people are in the same position as you. I'm exactly the same age!

32 is not old not to have met someone, but in the middle of the night when I am really anxious about everything it definitely seems it.

mumgointhroughtorture Mon 19-Sep-16 20:45:49

I'm 33 next weekend , single for 3 years and every single man I speak to online just wants to meet for sex. I rarely meet men in real life and especially not anyone I would consider romantically ... I see loads of people finding relationships and I've now got my barriers up , convinced every guy is messaging for sex so I normally say from the off now I'm not looking for that ... what's wrong with dating and getting to know someone without having to go to bed with them ? Its horrible being a single woman atm . I find the 30s is a weird age to be aswell unless you want a 20 year old or a 50 year old !
Just to let you know , you ain't on your own!

Itsnotmycoat Mon 19-Sep-16 20:47:02

I know I'm not alone... Sorry for the pity party! I think I'm going to look into sorry donation properly, at least then I have a plan. I'm so happy usually on my own, but now and then I feel the time passing and nothing changes with anyone I meet.

fastdaytears Mon 19-Sep-16 20:50:30

I find birthdays the hardest because I think oh next birthday everything will be different, and then it's not!

I have a really good job which I love, a nice house and lovely friends and family. I know I'm lucky but I don't have what I want right now. I generally like older men which has all its own problems too. Ugh.

celeryisnotasuperfood Mon 19-Sep-16 20:56:54

I felt very similar - probably at a bit older at about 34.
Things changed at 35 when I pretty much had resigned myself to a life alone.
It feels shit but I believe you will come through it and find a life you are happy living... unfortunately it takes a while to get there...

Myusernameismyusername Mon 19-Sep-16 21:00:28

Get your plan together. I think it's something positive to focus on and exciting!

Evergreen17 Mon 19-Sep-16 21:06:24

I hear you OP. I met my DH when I was 32. I wanted to meet someone so I started online dating. It wasnt easy and I feel very lucky but there are people out there that can make you happy.
I used to be sad because my friends met people without making an effort and I had to go and make lots of efforts and do the on line dating thing but happy I did

horseygeorgie1 Mon 19-Sep-16 21:11:35

I'm 32, fattish, have a 5 yr old DD and have been single for 10 years (barring the occasional ONS). Or at least.. I was single up until a few months ago! I met a man online 3 years ago as a friend and he finally got up the courage to tell me he liked me as far more about 3 months ago. Apparently he has been dropping hints for TWO YEARS! I don't do subtle!

I am so incredibly happy, I am head over heels in love (I have loved him for a long time!) and I know we will have a future together.

It can happen, don't lose heart. Honestly I would have said I would have spent the rest of my life on my own. I was reconciled with it almost.

reup Mon 19-Sep-16 21:14:22

I didn't meet my dh till I was 36 - online dating. Had been single for years. It's not too late!

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 19-Sep-16 21:39:20

Maybe French and art and dance aren't enough of a man mine. Go to craft beer meet ups, train as a plumber, go quad biking etc. I know it's trite but go where the dudes are.

Plus, it will happen: you sound great. I met my husband at 34 and we are now two kids in. I felt despairing too, the day before I met him.

Hang in there! Keep going out!

TheVirginQueen Mon 19-Sep-16 21:48:35

I don't know what age finds it easy. I'm 45 and literally the only man I feel I connected with in the last year (of OLD) had no children and was 3 years younger than I am and he definitely hadn't given up on having children, why would he, so he wouldn't be in a relationship with me. I really liked him though. Then I dated a man with a grown up dd, he was 49, but he had so much more freedom than I had so that didn't get off the ground. Then I dated a man of 52 which quite young kids and he was a frazzled stressed mess with NO free time at all.

I need a formula. Like, if you have children of x age, go for a man x age with/without kids who lives x (+/-) miles away.

I agree that you have to keep trying if it's important to you. I won't give up completely but I'm taking a break from trying for now.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now