My daughter has always been a really good girl, confident in herself and sensible. I made the mistake of getting a job in June to take my mind off things, so when I took the last week off before she left, it hit me like a tonne of bricks! Last week, I actually felt more 'grief' than when I lost my Mum a couple of years ago. My heart ached, literally. I cried on and off all week leading up until she left on Saturday 17th. Ironing her clothes to pack was tough!!! I never felt like this when my son left for uni years ago, I think it's because my daughter is quite petite and without makeup on, she looks about 14. It's hard for me to relate to her being an independent young woman. (My big problem was we had financial issues as my husband is self employed and that had dragged on for years since the crash of 2008. Plus we had become embroiled in a very, very expensive court case. The stress had a huge impact on our family. We felt we had let her down, even though we had done nothing wrong intentionally. My husband and I both ended up ill due to the stress. We felt so guilty because her childhood wasn't as happy as it should have been. And you can't bring those years back.)
When we said goodbye and I said 'I love you', she just hugged me, I so wanted to hear her say 'I love you' back but she was probably putting on a brave face for me. As she walked away her dad and I got in the car to leave, a van drove past blocking our view and then she had gone. There was no final wave, nothing. I'm not sure if she even looked back.......driving home seemed like a surreal nightmare. BUT, after ringing her and having a 2 minute conversation yesterday I felt so much better. I don't think you can expect much for the first couple of weeks, just the odd line here and there. As much as we want to hear everything about their new adventure. Thankfully she is only two hours away and her dad is insisting we visit every month, if only to go and have a pizza for an hour, just to catch up.
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Feeling very sad and guilty at daughter starting Uni
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Marge15 · 19/09/2016 10:10
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