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My mum

(3 Posts)
user1471519931 Mon 19-Sep-16 09:55:36

Does anyone else have a mum like mine? She has very little sympathy for me. Tons for other people though! It's not like I'm someone who wines constantly or cries wolf, but when I have an issue that I'm upset about or a professional dilemma, then she seems to be very hard hearted...

She also does this thing of "passing messages". For example, we'll be discussing an issue and she'll say "well, I have a friend who did xyz...", instead of her telling me her opinion. Or she'll hold the baby and then say things like "mummy might want to enroll you in a crèche soon" instead of talking to me directly, I find it annoying. I'm not sure whether I've explained myself clearly.

Yoksha Mon 19-Sep-16 10:16:01

Mum's & daughter's = emotional minefield. I can empathise with you in regards to the lack of sympathy. This happened to me all my life. Even when I was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cells & needed an emergency hysterectomy. Who would you turn to after a telephone call from Consultant's secretary of that nature? Her response floored me!

"What do you expect me to do about that"? Honestly. I cried for hours. So I get that.

The third person opinion/objective is puzzling. Are you very confident OP? Maybe your mum is in some way in awe of you, but can't deal with it any other way. It's something some people do when they lack some confidence, or avoid direct confrontation about what they may regard as more important than you. I employ this sometimes when I want to address something in a more kinder way with my family.

Hope you can move on together in a healthier fashion.

user1471519931 Mon 19-Sep-16 10:29:03

Omg Yoksha, your mum sounds so difficult... sad Mine has also reacted badly when I went through a terrible breakup - "well, nobody's died" was her response...

Hmmm, very interesting analysis. I appear confident, yes, although this is sometimes a front for my inner introvert/shyness. I do push myself to overcome this and have had a good education, university, several years working abroad, bought a flat etc...although I kinda want to give it up now DS has come along smile

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