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My life is a mess

(10 Posts)
Saddaughterinlaw Sat 17-Sep-16 22:40:19

I really need some advice. Some of you may remember my other thread about my monster in law. Well the whole situation has got worse today with her announcing my daughter is now sleeping in a bed whilst at her house. She's taken it upon herself to do this without any consideration for us.

I could rant all day about her and the situation but I feel life is so much more complicated than just her.

My husband is a complete pushover. Probably from 22 years of living with a narc. He knows her behaviour is wrong but never wants to say anything about it.

I am so upset over her behaviour but he is just not fussed. We have had several incidents in the past where she has overstepped the mark and I've ended up confronting her and having a blazing row with her. He doesn't get involved and just stands there.

He has masses of anxiety issues and likes to bury his head in the sane 90% of his life and pour his time into reading about and watching sport. I'm also pretty sure he has aspergers.

I don't know what to do anymore. We live very close to the outlaws as we moved here to be close to them (idiots I know) I don't talk to any of my family (Jeremy kyle candidates) so don't have their support.

I just don't know where to go from here. I am feeling so upset by my mother in laws behaviour but am also feeling increasingly frustrated by my husbands lack of support. I feel so alone in the world and just need some guidance.

When he's like this it makes me question everything about our relationship and wonder are we really happy etc. I'm not without problems of my own but I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders whilst he sits back and watches me struggle. I have ms and 3 children. My husband works part time but when here spends a lot of time playing on his phone. He takes nothing to do with any sort of finances or sorting of anything. In a lot of ways he feels like another child.

Somebody please help with what I should do next. I have no one to turn to.

Badgoushk Sat 17-Sep-16 22:43:20

Hello, I'm not sure I understand the problem. Why don't you want your daughter sleeping in a bed? Where would you prefer her to sleep?

hownottofuckup Sat 17-Sep-16 22:46:08

What's the thing with your DD sleeping in a bed?
One the one hand I would say you have a DJ problem rather than a MIL one, if you could deal with it as a couple it probably wouldn't be such a problem. On the other hand I think she is his mum, they established a whole relationship for what 16 years minimum before you came into the picture, a lot of behaviours will have been set in this time that it will be very hard for him to break away from. Try not to get into a me v her dispute it rarely does any good.
Sorry you're having such a tough time flowers

hownottofuckup Sat 17-Sep-16 22:46:54

*DH not DJ smile

Sassypants82 Sat 17-Sep-16 22:59:58

I'm guessing OP's daughter is in a cot at home & Mil has taken it upon herself to graduate her to a bed??

Saddaughterinlaw Sat 17-Sep-16 23:03:08

Sorry yes my daughter sleeps in a cot at home and my mother in law has taken it apon herself to promote her to a bed at her house

She is also trying to potty train her.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Sat 17-Sep-16 23:05:37

How old is your daughter?

HeddaGarbled Sat 17-Sep-16 23:07:51

Stop your daughter sleeping at your MIL's house or being at your MIL's house without you being there to prevent the potty training. Maybe stop visiting her house at all?

Saddaughterinlaw Sat 17-Sep-16 23:08:09


SissySpacekAteMyHamster Sat 17-Sep-16 23:19:57

If you're not happy with the care she gets at MIL's then stop her staying overnight.

If someone doesn't respect your way of doing things then you don't have to respect them.

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