I have been with DP for 6 years and I'm not happy. He cannot do anything for/with the children. He makes life harder. He does nothing around the house. He has form for being dishonest. He keeps his money to himself. He spends lots of time on his phone. He falls asleep early so we rarely spend time together. He can't look after the DC so I never get a break. We have nothing to talk about. He is needy and always trying to cuddle and kiss and he tells me 30+ times per day how much he loves and wants me. He keeps saying how happy he is but I don't see how.
On a typical day he leaves at 7, goes to the gym, goes to work and comes home at 7 with everything for the kids and house having been done. He often falls asleep by 9 then wakes up at 12 and is horny then looks crestfallen because I want to go to bed rather than shag as the DC are up during the night and for the day at 6. We very rarely have sex because he just irritates me with his incompetence and overdoing the declarations of adoration. He would ideally have it twice per day.
We don't argue but I feel our relationship is dead and we're just drifting because every time I think about leaving there's something coming up - like Christmas, weddings, birthdays, appointments for the DC etc. He seems fine to drift on like this forever. The main thing stopping me is worrying what to do regarding the DC. He has another child from a previous relationship whom he doesn't see. I don't think he'd pursue contact if I made it even slightly difficult. He isn't competent at looking after the children and I wouldn't want to push contact but then I'd feel guilty for them becoming fatherless overnight.
What made you decide enough was enough when your partner was indifferent and happy to carry on?
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how do you stop a dead relationship drifting on?
mendimoo · 16/09/2016 13:47
I feel your pain mendimoo my DP (soon to be ex his bags are all packed for him when he wakes up) is exactly like this. He has never lifted a finger to help with our dc.
Never changed a nappy, never given them a bath, never takes them out anywhere on his own.
I left them with him for a couple of hours while I went on a training course last week. When i came home my ds age 4 was fast asleep in the middle of the living room floor. When I picked him up he was soaked with wee. He has been toilet trained for ages. My dd told me he had not gone to the toilet in time and he had weed on the bathroom floor as well and she had tried to clean it up for him with a towel. She is five years old!
Neither of them had felt able to tell DP about it 
He was laid on the sofa staring at his phone completely ignoring them.
One time I went in the shower and my Ds was crying outside the bathroom door. After a while he went quiet and I though Oh good he's come to distract him. When I opened the door my Ds who was 3years old had cried himself sleep on the floor. Dp was just laying on the sofa again watching TV.
I feel heartbroken and really worried now I have packed his bags but I know it will be so much better in the end without this big useless slug laying around. It feels like I have three dc instead of two. He makes things harder not easier.
It's not the way it's supposed to be is it?
I really hope that you (we) can be strong and get these losers out of our lives and get on with being happy 
Doesn't it worry you what happens when he has contact alone though? I can't bear the thought of it. I hope he left okay for you today
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