Hello, Im not sure how to look at this as its been on going kind of for about a good 6 months and need someone like yourselves to say "right its because of this, or try that" as Im a little lost over here and feel Im such a cold person as my actions are constantly being questioned every so many weeks.
Every so often more so every couple of weeks, I find my partner will suddenly through something that creates a reaction from me. Like he will be in a mood and slam the front door, only for me to think "ok what have I done now!" and its because I never cuddled him last night or gave him a kiss perhaps. He says we have fallen into a 10 year boring marriage relationship.
I have noticed that as two individuals we have both changed or more like we are different in terms of affection and in terms of sex as well. He needs more, whereas I don't need affection/attention so much or need reassurance as he does. I use to have quite a high sex drive, but interestingly when Im with him I don't feel that way inclined all the time, as he is and always has been so demanding in bed which kind of pushes me away and makes me feel pressured.
He will also drop a text saying "observation" which at 8am and Im working I think what is he going on about now? when I ask later that night he mentions, well I have noticed I am always the one who texts first in the morning...!!
Now I am thinking here "are we back at school" and does it really matter who texts first as I always reply back, I also sometimes send him a text during the day, at times call him during the day as well and can at times pick him up at the train station as well. But looks like that is overlooked and texting in the morning is more important.....we never go a day without texting one another, but does it really matter who texts first?
This is a man who doesnt go out with friends or has a lot of people to see regularly outside of us and work. I have pushed him to go back to play squash again which he is now doing and enjoying, but also want to get him to find a life outside of me so he isn't depending on me for his neediness which at times I feel drained about as I am really independent and don't need reassurance. I love my life and recently been very happy until these things happen, but I am sure he does this on purpose. However he doesnt stop me still from being happy, I will still continue seeing friends, going to work, family, gym, dancing etc...
I am wondering here if he feels I don't need him, which at times its not that its more Im just getting on with my life, but once we get on well for say a few weeks, bang he throws something to create a drama. I have monitored this now for over 6 months and there is definitely a pattern.
What he doesnt realise is that when he does this, I just want to be around others and I don't want anything to do with him as I find him too boring, draining and demanding, but wondering if he will ever change and get it instead of creating this so called up and down feeling.
I could quite easily give in, give him more of what he wants but I would end up angry, and also feel a tad trapped and contained with just him or feel controlled by his demands and he may get worse. I like my independence and him too and trying to get a balance. We spend every weekend together, see one another every night, bought a house together but my affection and my texts are just not enough. I have changed and now going out more during the day, or seeing friends weeknights and now seeing friends at times during the weekend to break things up....whereas before it was just us and I felt it wasnt healthy.
if we don't have enough sex, he mentions it. If I mention a comment to him, he can take offence but interestingly doesnt want to talk about it again, he will just say something then think thats he has done his bit and walks off...leaving me thinking "you what? don't be a child again!" but it literally puts me off him.
I hear of girls like this with their partners, but seriously has anyone had this with their man?
Would it be best to just end things or do you think I need to find a compromise? I can sense when he is going to throw his toys out the pram, but I also feel pressured because of his tantrums, moods and down side to his personality and think, ok its at this stage he needs attention.....why cant he just be and be relaxed and not expect anything and just get on with life without demanding anything?
thank you for reading xx
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Relationships
When your partner is needy/dependent on you for their happiness?
littleme2675 · 16/09/2016 09:48
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