Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

how to deal with resentment

(10 Posts)
crazydil Fri 16-Sep-16 01:48:51

Husband and i have been together for 8 years. Three kids. And the resentment is killing me. How do i deal with this?
Resentment is due to h not being supportive during tough times and never being able to admit wrong. And because he never takes responsibility for his mistakes, we can never really have a discussion where i can air my grievances. I can't stand to look at him atm

HappyJanuary Fri 16-Sep-16 06:27:39

I know it sounds flippant but if you're living with someone you can't stand to look at there are only three choices - resign yourself to living like this forever, separate or find a way to make him understand how serious the situation is and hope he listens. You could try putting it in a letter, or suggest couples counselling.

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 16-Sep-16 09:34:23

You can't live with resentment, there's only two options find a way to live without or him, or leave and find a way to live how you want.

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 16-Sep-16 09:36:51

Sorry ahh

You can't live with resentment op it's eats away with you, you can either find a way to live with him or it, or you leave and live how you want to peacefully.

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 16-Sep-16 09:37:14

Sorry ahh

You can't live with resentment op it's eats away with you, you can either find a way to live with him or it, or you leave and live how you want to peacefully.

pallasathena Fri 16-Sep-16 16:51:00

If you can't talk to him then send him a letter or mail expressing how you feel, how the resentment has built up and how and why you feel at the end of your tether.
You need to set it out in clearly unambiguous and objective vocabulary so that he fully comprehends the content and then give him some time to digest it before sitting down together and thrashing it all out.
If he won't do the sitting down together bit, tell him that's the line. If he crosses it its over. And when you do deliver the appears to be more than likely, make sure you have an exit plan in place first.

adora1 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:55:27

You can't have a relationship with a person that blames you for everything and does not even have your back.

Tell him you can't be with someone who does this and you want an equal team partnership, if he can't give you that then move on, don't stay seething with resentment, it will turn you into a horrible person.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 16-Sep-16 20:11:22

You feel resentful because you are being treated badly. How do you deal with that?

Well, you have to stop the bad treatment continuing before you can even consider forgiveness.

It doesn't sound like you think he will ever change, so to stop the bad treatment you will have to split. Have you worked out how you would do that yet?

Destinysdaughter Fri 16-Sep-16 20:15:51

It sounds more like unexpressed anger and disappointment TBH. You need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If he won't listen, doesn't care or won't take steps to change you have to decide if you want to continue being with him. Resentment is no solution and only harms you.

springydaffs Sat 17-Sep-16 00:37:38

I'd bash this out with a therapist iiwy. Dont knock it, give it a try.

Resentment is such a killer. You can't afford to have it in your life long term.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now