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Empty condom wrapper

(247 Posts)
2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 02:11:41

(Name changed for this one)

Can't sleep - I found an empty condom wrapper in DPs trouser pocket, me and him don't use them.

How am I going to approach the situation? He will probably come clean, that's the sort of person he is.

I can't stay with him after this, it will only happen again, and the worst thing is I live in his house, we've got two children together.

I'm sitting here feeling very hurt, as there aren't any problems in our relationship.

Eminado Thu 15-Sep-16 02:14:34

Didnt want to leave you unanswered.


Where is he now?

Others with proper advice will be along soon.

CannotEvenDeal Thu 15-Sep-16 02:27:31

Oh shit... how long have you been together and how old are your dcs?


londonrach Thu 15-Sep-16 02:42:48

Hugs op. Where is he now. You ok xx

toopeoply Thu 15-Sep-16 02:43:04

Where is he now? Poor you op. Is it worth trying to get more evidence from his phone etc before you confront him?

Dilligufdarling Thu 15-Sep-16 04:13:39

Just wanted to say, maybe there is another explanation than the worst one.

I know some guys - inc DH on occasion - use condoms when masturbating. Apparently it feels different.

Maybe that could be it?

WingsofNylon Thu 15-Sep-16 07:07:54

I'm holding your hand. There is a small chance it is innocent but most likely it isn't. You won't know until you talk to him.

TheNaze73 Thu 15-Sep-16 07:11:32

Sorry OP, I try to see both sides of a story & look for a rational answer, rather than an hysterical one but, I can't see any outcome here which is a good one. flowers

2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 07:14:04


Sorry I am just getting back to you now, he is in bed asleep, DD is 10 months and DS is 6.

I have no access to his phone he has a finger print pin to open it, I know he isn't inoccent, if it was used for self pleasure it wouldn't be in his pocket, plus he was at work yesterday so there wouldn't have been time for that.

Just feeling so hurt right now sad I read threads on here often about peoples partners cheating and I think to myself "DP would never do that"

marmitecrumpets Thu 15-Sep-16 07:15:42

Hold hand here too. Hope you are okay

MephistoMarley Thu 15-Sep-16 07:16:16

Sorry to hear that. Will he step up financially if you separate? You're in w very vulnerable position.

2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 07:17:56

I don't want to stay with him but I don't want to lose him, deep down I want to ignore what I found.

If I were to leave him I think he'd help with the children, yes I'm feeling very vulnerable right now.

Inthebathprobably Thu 15-Sep-16 07:20:12

Are there any other signs you can think of? Being away from the house? Being obsessive with phones etc?

Do you use a shared computer?

Choice is to gather more info or just ask him soon.

iloveberries Thu 15-Sep-16 07:30:26


2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 07:30:51

No signs what so ever, everything has been so normal that's why I am so hurt.

He doesn't use the computer/laptop whilst at home, and only uses his phone to take calls.

Why do men do things like this? sad

2sCompany Thu 15-Sep-16 07:43:48

You can access his phone using his fingerprint when he's asleep. Helps if they're a bit drunk - been there, got the t-shirt. It's not pleasant.

So sorry you're going through this.

Men are shit

caffelatte100 Thu 15-Sep-16 07:47:11

Yep, I'd gather more information. Knowledge is power after all. Otherwise, he might fob you off but then, in the back of your mind, you'd always be wondering....

caffelatte100 Thu 15-Sep-16 07:48:14

Have you got any family or RL friends?

2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 07:50:44

I don't want to look into his phone, scared in what I might find, and he doesn't drink so this could have not been a drunken fling.

I am overwhelmed by all the support given, he is awake now, I think I will wait for him to get to work, then call him.

Even though I said I want to ignore what has happened I can't because I will be left paranoid and vulnerable, and I can't have him making me feel like this.

2InTheMorning Thu 15-Sep-16 07:51:59

Yes I have lots of friends in real life whom I could speak to, but I'm just so embarrassed blush

If I were to leave him I know I'm never ever going to find better.

caffelatte100 Thu 15-Sep-16 07:54:48

Maybe choose one friend who you think would be understanding and treat anything you might tell her confidential.

Urghhh! How shit. You don't want to be dealing with this, life's complicated enough!

what will you say when you phone him?

Catsize Thu 15-Sep-16 07:56:01

I really wouldn't call him at work. This needs be a face-to-face conversation where you can properly judge his reactions etc.

GrimmauldPlace Thu 15-Sep-16 07:56:45

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope that there is some sort of innocent explanation for this. As unlikely as it sounds.

What you've written here -
If I were to leave him I know I'm never ever going to find better - Please don't say things like that. Please don't put yourself down. If he has indeed cheated, you are already worth a million times more than that.

MalodyandJim Thu 15-Sep-16 07:58:24

In my experience the "posh wank" with a condom is bullshit. I've spoken to men about it and they agree.

Don't give him that as an out

Saggynaggy Thu 15-Sep-16 07:59:58

Dumb question. Where does he work?

Slim, outside the box type thought but... If he works in a 'blokey' type place he might have been messing ababout, blowing them up, sticking them over his head etc. Its slim but it is another "innocent" explanation.

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