Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I'm not going to explain myself

(5 Posts)
Wrinklesandspotstoo Tue 13-Sep-16 20:49:58

Is that the catch phrase of the guilty? I don't think my husband is having an affair. I mean I don't think... But from what I read on here you can never tell! Our sex live has gone down hill over the last few months right about the time he's started working so hard? Or maybe it has because he works so hard? I just asked him why he no longer makes time to speak to me while he's away and has not jumped at the chance of me coming to spend the night in his works hotel when he used to... Amongst other things and he says he does not need to explain himself to me. Hurts a bit. On the other side I've had a heavy cold for 2 weeks and am feeling a bit sorry for myself! Anyway my question.... If your gut is telling you something but your head disagrees then from experience which is usually right?

sorryoldwoman Tue 13-Sep-16 20:54:59

My gut I listen too. Try being more observant of him. Does he steer clear of showing affection? Smile at him for not reason...does he smile back? It's the little things we noticed that men don't see as telling.

OrianaBanana Tue 13-Sep-16 20:55:32

I'd go with the gut. And also I'd say that husbands (and wives) need to keep open communication rather than shutting it down. Not wanting to discuss things is a red flag (unless you've been over and over the same thing and he's given you a reasonable explanation). flowers

Wrinklesandspotstoo Tue 13-Sep-16 21:01:02

im not even sure which is saying what (gut or head) I think he's just working hard but he snipes at me when I ask! I'd just feel such a fool if ignored what all the other women on here who have been cheated on in hindsight say are the warning signs!

Sn0tnose Tue 13-Sep-16 21:08:42

You're his wife. You're supposed to be the person he wants to explain things to.

If my instincts have ever told me something isn't right, I've always regretted not listening to them. You know what your marriage is normally like and if things have changed, it's only natural that you'll want to know why.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now