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Am I doing something wrong or is my partner abusive

(6 Posts)
Mummytime12345 Tue 13-Sep-16 11:40:30


I have 2 kids one 2 and the other is a newborn, I have been trying to work at my relationship since my son was born (2 years ago) I seem to be the only one working at things, like I arrange nights out, I arrange movie nights and day trips. I feel like I am working hard to keep our relationship going. Ever since my 2 yr old was born I have had constant critisms about what I don't do for him. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression when I had my son, I found the whole mum life really hard to adjust to, I sometimes made my sons bottles when they all ran out and because he was left waiting 30mins I would get pulled apart by my partner for not making them before. I didnt see a big deal about this, it was only on one bottle a day where he was waiting. I felt he was giving me such a hard time over everything regarding my son. I didn't feel like he cared about what I was going through, during those times I became very bitter and was very hurt that my life had ended and that he could have both worlds. He didn't understand what I was going through, it was very hard for me. I even said out of anger I wish my son wasn't born and since then my partner has used this against me and repeats it in every argument. Everything I say to him regarding my son, he uses against me, says I don't want to be with him coz I moan about him and says I don't care about him either. I can't believe he says this when I'm the one here for him morning and night. He uses anything to prove I don't care about him. For example, I just had a csection and I couldn't deal with my son for hours so I would put peppa pig on in his room, he would then say I don't care, I had to find a way to protect myself as my son kicks me and jumps on me. Plus to begin with I couldn't run around and needed to rest. Everything I do gets used against me, I feel like he never agrees with anything I do. Another thing he has done since my sons birth was show so much affection to him p, but prior to his birth he would say he finds it hard to show affection yet he shows my son it all the time and hardly shows it to me. I feel really neglected. I don't know what to do as we are arguing a lot at the minute and whenever we argue I end up saying I want to end things, yet I never do, but he keeps saying he will fight for the kids. I feel concerned about this relationship as he turns on me so easier as if he stops caring about me. I know I moan about what mess he makes a lot but is that enough to be so cold and aggressive to me?! I also feel like he is coming in between me and my son, like he always says I do bad to him yet and then sometimes I feel angry at my son and I know it's nothing he has done

DoreenLethal Tue 13-Sep-16 11:45:43

He sounds like a complete wanker.

What is the house situation? Husband or boyfriend?

ferriswheel Tue 13-Sep-16 11:48:02

Yes you are in an abusive relationship. Get out as soon as you have your head together.

RebelRogue Tue 13-Sep-16 11:55:11

He's a're worn out. The whole relationship is wrong and you are both unhappy. End it for your children's sake if not for your own sake.

jeaux90 Tue 13-Sep-16 12:07:33

Do you have family or friends that can give you some help and support? You sound totally worn down by this piece of work. I wish you strength in making the decision to move on and have big hug xxx

OnTheBr1nk Tue 13-Sep-16 12:11:03

Somehow I knew the answer to this from the title alone. If you're having to ask yourself this questions, chances are that it's the latter.

Hope you get some help -- people tend to suggest Women's Aid as a first step.

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