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Good books on how to be diplomatic

(12 Posts)
AGenie Tue 13-Sep-16 11:31:38


I wondered if anyone could recommend any good books on how to say things diplomatically?

I used to be a real doormat and in recent years I've started to try to speak up for myself a bit, but I find that in the anxious rush to say what I mean, I do tend to come over as being quite undiplomatic.

I wondered if anyone might know of a book that explains techniques for putting things in less blunt and more gentle language, but still getting the message across?


bringmeataco Tue 13-Sep-16 21:14:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Believeitornot Tue 13-Sep-16 21:17:31

We were taught a method at work but be damned if I can remember it

Basically you be specific and talk about your feelings and own them. Don't say "you made me", but more like "I felt like X when you said y".

AGenie Wed 14-Sep-16 01:02:16

Thanks! I also googled for advice and all the pages said that I should listen to how politicians talk, and phrase things. I'm not sure that I would like to talk like a politician though. They never seem to say what they mean at all.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Wed 14-Sep-16 02:41:19

Maybe try the book "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"
It is focused on communicating with children but I found it could apply to anyone. It is based on respect for the other person.

AGenie Wed 14-Sep-16 06:24:05

That's a good idea. I have that book already, but had only thought about it with children.

I also remembered that the book "how to win friends and influence people" is often recommended.

AGenie Wed 14-Sep-16 06:25:35

I just found a summary of that book here:

stoptouchingthat Wed 14-Sep-16 21:42:07

"When I say no, I feel guilty" has some good techniques for dealing with people.

It's a bit 70s USA in style but I found it helpful. smile

stoptouchingthat Wed 14-Sep-16 21:42:58

I've forgotten the authors name but I for it on amazon a few years ago.

Good one for learning to be assertive.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 14-Sep-16 22:33:46

You don't want to sound like a politician. Is there anyone you would like to sound like? Could you channel your inner "What would Judi Dench do?"

AGenie Thu 15-Sep-16 10:28:25

runrabbit that's an excellent idea. I've always like Joyce Grenfell. I must watch more of her interviews and see if I can pick up some tips. She was quite forthright, but tended not to put her foot in it somehow.

AGenie Thu 15-Sep-16 10:32:24

Thanks stop, I've ordered a copy of "When I say no, I feel guilty".

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