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How can I get OH to take me seriously?

(4 Posts)
Flowerbomb1 Mon 12-Sep-16 22:36:19

Hi, I really need some advice, I'm 25 with 3 kids and a lovely OH who I've been with since a was 15. We have a pretty good relationship most of the time but quite a hectic life with our 3 young kids, both working and kids clubs every single day including weekends ect. I go through bad bouts of depression but I hide them as much as I can from everyone. It's ruining my life and I need help now before it gets worse, for weeks at a time I'll feel fine then for weeks I feel as if I hate life and that I'd love to just run away, though I've never felt suicidal. OH is really laid back and I don't really think he understands what depression is its almost as if it's black and white and whenever I've mentioned it to him he kind of laughs and looks at me as if I'm stupid and makes me feel like im attention seeking, I just want to talk to him and make him understand so he can support me to get help. I'm also terrified incase the doctors were to let the health visitor know although we've never had ss or hv involved in our family except the usual routine checks from hv after a baby is born. How can I make him realise that I'm serious? I guess I'm my own worst enemy because I hide it so well even though it eats me up inside. 😔

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Mon 12-Sep-16 22:44:09

flowers I can't offer any real help but I don't think it'd be a bad thing to get help from hv, in fact s/he may be able to get through his thick skull and make him understand. Well done you for acknowledging that you need help, I think that's the first step and you're very brave.
Maybe show him some websites giving info, there's one called 1 in 4 about mental health to try to make him understand that without help there's a strong possibility that you'll feel worse.
Best of luck with the journey ahead of you

HeddaGarbled Mon 12-Sep-16 22:47:23

Firstly, don't worry about the health visitor knowing you need help. He/she can help you. They will only contact Social Services if they think the children are at risk and even then Social Services can also help you. Contrary to popular opinion, Social Services are not child-snatchers. They will do everything they can to support parents to look after their own children and will only make moves to have children removed from their parents if things are very very serious.

Secondly, I understand why you want your husband to understand more but expecting him to take responsibility for supporting you to get help is unfair if you won't take responsibility for that yourself.

Get professional help first. Once professionals are involved, he'll take it more seriously.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 12-Sep-16 23:33:15

Don't make him responsible for you not getting help with your mental health. That's not fair.

Go to the GP, tell him/her everything. Do it for your children. Do it because you want to get better.

Health Visitors are not evil. They are trained to deal with this very very normal situation. They want to help you.

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