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Wow. Where do I begin. WHAT is going on?!

124 replies

SGx1x · 12/09/2016 12:31

Ok... It's a long one please bare with me but I need some help.

I'm going to start from the top. I met a guy from Instagram. He is quite well known as he used to be a popular artists manager & he is still involved in that kind of lifestyle as he's part of a kind of group (not musically or anything they just have these groups all over the world). Anyway... He would contact me via dm & we spoke on & off for a few months.

We started to then talk over whatsapp. I live in London he lives in New York. I'm 26, but he's quite a youthful 40.

We would FaceTime a lot and at the start he was very sweet, caring. He would send me lovey dovey pictures & would open up to me. He was vary caring and would always contact me & really try to keep me happy. He said he wanted a relationship I said not until we meet each other but one thing led to another & we started to date. He was very sweet & taught me a lot even through a small time because of his demeanour and the things he had been through. I will say he is a tough guy & the way he speaks is sometimes intimidating. He would tell me I was the best woman to come into his life, because of the heart I have. He would say all these things about marriage kids etc etc etc. Let's just say he was very caring, if I didn't call he would call me & ask where I was. Check to see I was ok etc.

A little bit controlling, but at the time I thought it was sweet he asked me to download the find my friends app, so I could see where he was & he could see where I was. I now see this as controlling & not sweet, FYI.

He would always reassure me & let's say I told him to do something he would. I told him to delete 2 women from his Instagram which he did. No arguments he just did it.

I must say sometimes I can be quite shy & unwilling to send those kind of pictures or be overley sexual. It's not in my nature & I said after we meet I would be more open to pictures & stuff as we are in a LDR.

Following on about 4 weeks from speaking to him, I had already had a trip to nyc booked with a friend so had planned on meeting him. We met on the second day, we hung out, went to a hotel etc & had a good day. We then met again on the fourth day. He took me & my friend to the mall... Took us to a few places, we dropped her back to her hotel & went to another hotel & spent the night. The next day was the day we were leaving & our plane was to depart that evening. I collected my luggage and we picked up my friend. I went with him to his area, met his father which he said he wanted to & met some of his friends. I will say he is a part of a motorcycle type of movement (not the typical type of one - a very well known one). So he took me & my friend on the bikes as I had never experienced it & I met some of his friends. He was very sweet & would refer to me as "I'm with my girlfriend" or "dropping my girlfriend to the airport" when people would ring him. We said our goodbyes and said we would see each other soon.

Now on to the real! I added this separate as it's easier for me to explain. He was very critical of me at first I thought it was constructive but I don't think it was. "Why are you reapplying your make up" "stop playing with your hair" "why this" "why that". I also need to say he has a temper. A bad temper & sometimes I cannot get a word in edge ways because he shouts. I know it's in his nature, his past what he's dealt with. But i can't deal with that & have told him. We get into arguements a lot because of both him and me. I told him I'm not a pushover but sometimes I have no option but to be silent.
Onto my friend, my friend is very loud over the top knows she's sexy & was projecting this instead of being there for me... So she was getting all the attention from his friends over me & I wish I never introduced them. We had an arguement at the airport which I thought he didn't see but he did. I was so embarrassed & hurt by a lot of things. E.g I had a helmet on, it's nyc, hot my hair looked a mess when I got off the bike & my friend just flicked her hair & continued to look pretty. He looked at me and said "your hair is a disaster" I felt like shit. I felt like shit the whole trip. The worst is I think my friend saw him at the airport & continued to argue Infront of him.

On to the sex. I have my own issues and insecurities so I sometimes find it hard to be naked without any lingerie etc. He said I was to shy & make me take everything off I was so uncomfortable & horrified. He said I "do to much"

I know you think why do you even care for this guy? Because he can get any girl he wants due to his profession & chose me. He was very sweet always chasing me & making me feel wanted. I met his father, his friends... I know I'm not the best looking girl he's dated but that never bothered me until now & it hurts cos I feel like he's making me feel like that.

Anyway, I'm back in the UK he's back in NY. He told me to call him when I got to the airport, called him he said he heard me argue with my friend, if I was ok he said call him when I board. Called him many times no answer. I should say he said he liked it when I called a lot as it showed I cared, we used to FaceTime each other all the time, he used to call as much as me.
Anyway, he never answered. I texted him when I landed, he was sleeping at this time. No response until 10pm my time and 5pm his time. Said I hope you landed ok etc etc. The next day no contact. Called him after I finished work very brief contact.

I will say he is broke now, which doesn't matter to me as I'm not about a mans money. I have booked his flights & hotel to come and stay in 3 weeks time. He wants to take me to a few countries with meets in the future. He said when he comes he's going to meet some of the people of the group when he gets here, sometimes he jokes he's going to go alone but then would say, no in joking I'm taking you with me everywhere, you're my girl. He would joke about meeting other women here but stopped that.

Just before i was due to fly to NY he told me he had a music meeting with record execs in Turks & Caicos. Fine.

He had been online on whatsapp but was not contacting me. Third day was his day to fly, he sis the reason he doesn't answer my calls was because we argue to much, which I agree. He said he would call me when he got there.

He never contacted me until day 6 when I asked if everything was ok. Bare in mind he would go online on whatsapp in the evenings a few times & not contact me. He hadn't been on Instagram & said his wifi wasn't that good.

During this week I self reflected & agreed that I probably argue to much but because of stuff that he does, how he makes me feel.

When he returned. Bare in mind I had been tracking the supposed flight he was on which said he would land at 9pm. The next morning for me it was 9am & him 4am. He posted a picture on Instagram, I commented and he called me. I apologised to him for arguing and told him that we would not do it again.

Later on, the person from the record label commented "safe flight" on the picture hours after he posted it. I was like what??? If they paid for your flights and they brought you along why would he write that. For some reason I never brought it up. I got angry however, he followed fhe one of the two people I told him to unfollow. When I questioned him he said it was his IG...bullshit. I told him to unfollow her again and he did. But then I've found out he added the other one again.

He had another meet to attend this past weekend Friday, sat & Sunday.

He called me Friday. We spoke but he was getting ready. I told him to talk to me more as he wasn't really talking and he shouted saying "I'm getting ready! Wait on the phone or I'll call you back!" I waited for him, he got ready & left to get in his car. I thought you wanted me to wait so we could talk when you finished getting ready but now you gotta go? That was the last time I heard from him. He has been online on whatsapp both this past Saturday & Sunday. I know he's been busy at the meet but he's been online. He never contacted me & didn't answer my FaceTimes. Never sends me sweet pictures, just acts like he doesn't care.

He's been acting different. He ignores me. Distances from me. Rude when we talk. I want to talk to him. But I'm afraid of his temper. He's started to comment on other women's pictures again. He just acts like he doesn't care. I know he's not much of a phone person, never uses emojis, not good communication when he does etc. I know he's more of a face to face person but I'm hurt. We both told each other we loved each other, how does this happen? I know he's had women who have been there for him in the past, how do I show him that IM actually the good one. IM the one doing all the effort.

On Saturday, as he's always asking for videos or pictures. I sent him 2 seductive videos (strip kind of style) he viewed them & I still haven't heard from him - imagine how shit I feel!

Today, I know he's back to normal life no upcoming trips etc so I know he's free to talk. Do I contact him? If I don't will he think I don't care? Do I not contact him?

I don't know what to do..... He's coming here in 3 weeks. Do i wait for him to come & sort it out? Or do I cancel the whole trip, lose the money. What do I do?

I've been through a lot in my life. I've never had love & sometimes get attached. But now I can get unattached just as quick. I really cared about this guy, he's done things for me no man has before. But it's like he's taking it all away. I feel like I'm not good enough. What is his game?

Should I call him today or ignore him? Wait for him to call? Do I ask him why he's ignoring me even though I told him we won't have any arguments? I need urgent help as I don't know what to do.

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JaneJeffer · 12/09/2016 12:36

You know what to do.