Thankyou everyone. I have always liked reading the relationship board over the years, to read about relationships that were worse than mine and also wanting to read about people who were married to someone similar to my DH and hear the board say he was just difficult and suggest ways to manage him/cope with him
Well, over the years, it got difficult at times, because actually I would read about similar situations to mine and MN people would say, 'this is not normal, this is EA' and I would feel a bit sick and then avoid the boards for a while. And then enter the cycle yet again of bending over backwards, walking on eggshells and pacifying and eating shit to keep my relationship going and my children safe and protected. Exhausting.I lost myself
Well, after reading Lundy Bancroft (thanks Lundy) description of the Water Torturer Profile and realising with horror and relief I was not imagining it I started to make my plans. These came to a head sooner than expected and the relationship is ending. I feel relief, sorrow that the relationship was not what I thought it was and worry that my children will be messed up for ever because of the split.
So three things I wanted to say
1)Please tell me it will all be ok
2) Also thankyou all your wonderful people who helped the scales fall from my eyes and the fog clear and see the future clearly
3) And to tell others in my position to keep reading and don't worry, it takes time, but you will get there and you will finally understand what is being done to you and it is not your fault
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
EA-recognising it within a relationship, thanks to MN...
11 replies
AgnesNoname · 12/09/2016 07:46
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.