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Tell me how to deal with a trigger event/prompt/thing

(8 Posts)
lolaflores Sun 11-Sep-16 21:37:37

Have watched something on TV that has set off an avalanche of memories and horrible feelings that I have been carefully sitting on for many years.

I am in therapy, I know these will be discussed at some point but this has jumped the gun so to speak. Maybe something was dislodged recently in therapy but I haven't been prepared for the results.

This relationship (if you can call it that) was long before I met my DH. It has left me very, very depressed all week and Madam Narky today. I have a session on Wednesday but even the thoughts of discussing it are makig me feel sick to my stomach.
What can I do right now to at least put a lid on it, or put it at arms length. It has hit me like a ton of bricks.

SugaredPlumFairy Mon 12-Sep-16 01:19:39

I am not qualified but I would suggest that tell your therapist what you have told us, that you watched something on tv that has triggered memories and you don't know how to handle it. You don't unless on their advice have to say anything specific.

I'm not going to recommended any bloody ridiculous technique such as writing down your feelings and trying to let go of them, but instead recommend that you accept your feelings and assure yourself are making time on Wednesday to begin to feel better.

Annabel11 Mon 12-Sep-16 07:12:12

Although I am not sure what the issue is, I do believe talking about it can help you and the sooner you do it, the better. I would go as far to suggest that apart from talking things with your therapist, you should do so your with your current partner.

Joysmum Mon 12-Sep-16 09:03:15

You need to trust in your therapist. I fell apart when events hit the news and I couldn't keep a lid on my feelings any more.

It took a lot of facing up to, rather than suppression, to get me back on an even keel again. I thought it'd break me but I had been warned it would get worse before it got better. I feel less troubled now.

lolaflores Mon 12-Sep-16 09:03:42

Thanks for the help, thanks for responding. At least I have said something which takes some of the pressure off.

Chipsahoy Mon 12-Sep-16 20:12:16

Sometimes I see or hear or read things that push me to face things that I'm not ready for yet. I take them to therapy where we acknowledge them, talk a little and then together move it aside. It's hard to describe how, but I trust my therapist and sometimes just permission from him to put it to one-side is enough. Allow, acknowledge, put down. Just for now. We then work on grounding and recovery.

I recommend telling your therapist some and saying you are struggling with It. Go from there.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Work on grounding for now. Lots of feel good stuff, no pressure on yourself, no taxing yourself. Do you have grounding tools in place?

HelloOrchidaceous Tue 13-Sep-16 04:08:43

I've found this pretty helpful

www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm

SofiaAmes Tue 13-Sep-16 05:41:33

Personally, I find that just saying it out loud (even if there is no one listening, but better if there is) is helpful. Acknowledging that something triggers you is very empowering and it takes the power away from the trigger. I think the internalizing of the trigger is the worst part about it. Scenario 1: Trigger happens. You get upset, you internalize it and then you react in ways that are ostensibly out of proportion to what is going on around you (because everyone thinks you are reacting to the little thing happening at the time) which agitates everyone around you and then makes you more upset because no on understands what's wrong with you.
Scenario 2: Trigger happens. You say out loud "That is a trigger for me because of A, B and C. You get upset. Those around you say "oh Lola is upset because of A, B and C and I'm amazed that she isn't more upset given the circumstances" and in turn they give you space, accommodations, sympathy etc. and then you feel better and don't appear to be over reacting to something inconsequential.

Scenario 2 involves some blind faith, so try it with small things first and see how well it works. And remember, there is no shame in being triggered by memories of your life events.

Silly example...I get completely freaked out by ants..completely out of proportion to their ability to harm me. I got stuck in a tree full of biting ants as a child. It's amazing how saying that out loud gets all sorts of people helping to protect me from ants without judgement.
Less silly example....

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