Married for 12 years in a relationship full of emotional abuse, sometimes physical, a constant feeling of never being good enough, OH out constantly and I never did anything to keep him home because I will sick of walking on eggshells.
I told him over a week ago I wanted out. He moved his things out. We have been civil since. We knew this was a long time coming.
The problem is, other than our three DCs, I have nobody. My parents have both died and I have no siblings. There are relatives but family issues in the past meant that I haven't had contact in years. His parents are overseas but he has a huge network of friends.
I was very much dependent upon him for everything. Now it's my turn to rule the roost, I'm scared. More than anything though, I feel alone. I have a small handful of friends who are aware of the situation, but whilst I put my whole life into looking after the children, I no longer have anybody to look after me
He told me last week to look at this as a fresh start in life, that I should embrace it and be happy. He told me that he wouldn't leave me high and dry, that as long as I needed support, he would be there. I can't go to him though every time I feel lonely or need a shoulder to cry on. We lead separate lives now.
Whilst I've spent today trying to keep three children entertained and my head out of my ass, he seems to have his whole life sorted and prioritised.
I want to be someone and do something with my life, but if I go back to work, I would be much worse off financially. My friends have told me to take some time out for myself for a while and just get through things day by day, but I'm my own worse enemy and do far too much dwelling in my head.
Please tell me it will be ok. That even if I have nobody, that I can do this. I have to do this for my kids, but at the moment I'm struggling to get through the day without thinking I'm setting myself up for failure
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Can someone please hold my hand?
fivetosix · 11/09/2016 17:24
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