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Controlling OH - he's unbelievable!

(8 Posts)
MidnightStars Sat 10-Sep-16 19:19:47

I guess this is more of a rant, just need to get it off my chest really.

I've been with OH 2 years and we have an 11 week old baby.

I've posted on here previously under a diff name about me suspecting my OH cheating and his emotional abusive ways. I didn't realise he was abusive until I posted on here.

Anyway I was going to go out with my friend tonight, the first time in a year. I reminded him this morning that I will be out tonight. That's when all the arguments started!! He didn't want me going out with this particular friend as he doesn't really like her but he said he wouldn't care if it were another friend.
He tried to say I don't respect him and quote "I wouldn't go out tonight if I were you". He's an arsehole!!
I'm my previous posts people agreed I should collect evidence to tell him and then leave so he couldn't gaslight me. I have been doing this and came across him and his mates gf ( who is OH employee too) talking. He told her we weren't getting on and they then started slagging OH mate and her bf off! She complained she hadn't found the right guy and he replied
" you should have slipped into my DM when I liked your nude pics on insta, you missed a trick there. Awkward"

I'm going to citizens advice Monday and trying to work out an exit plan. But my god I'm struggling to keep a straight face!! This guy gets me down so much I just want to cry!!!

Rosenwyn1985 Sat 10-Sep-16 19:23:09

Nothing I can say will help but wanted to check in. You are doing amazingly with a young baby. Keep going. You'll get there!

MidnightStars Sat 10-Sep-16 19:27:31

Thank you. I'm trying to keep it together for my LO. Just so annoyed and upset that I'm not out with my friend tonight and that I've let her down. When I leave I finally won't have anyone telling me what I can and can't do!

nicenewdusters Sat 10-Sep-16 19:44:51

You're doing the right thing. Just disengage from him as much as possible and sort out all the practical stuff. You won't recognise yourself in a years time.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 10-Sep-16 20:04:30

This man does not really want you to be going out with anyone; he wants to keep you under lock and key in your own home. Such men hate women, all of them.

I would also be talking to Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 as well as Citizens Advice; they can also help you in respect of an exit plan.

MidnightStars Sat 10-Sep-16 20:22:35

Thank you, I've already changed so much from who I used to be. I've become a bit of a recluse sad
I am scared about bringing my baby up alone but it's got to be better than the situation I'm in now.

Thanks for the number attilathemeerkat im going to call them Monday. It's starting to dawn on me he doesn't like women and I really don't know why!

jeaux90 Sat 10-Sep-16 21:00:50

I had to bring mine up alone too after escaping a controlling narc. Don't give it a second thought, it's hard but I tell you one thing I have never ever regretted it. I am soooooooo happy. And that isn't just now it was the first day I moved out and into my new place. I hang onto that feeling during the tough times because that joy of liberation is unique. Good luck and big hugs xxx

MidnightStars Sat 10-Sep-16 21:32:37

That's reassuring jeaux90 I know in the long run I'll be happy. Just the first steps. I pray my son does not turn out like his father. It's definitely the best thing taking him out of this environment x

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