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Long Distance - Anyone Managed It?!

(7 Posts)
BlueNeighbourhood Sat 10-Sep-16 18:49:23

Hello

So, I've had a friend, we met in a chatroom, gosh over three years ago. We got on super well and swapped numbers, planned to meet but inbetween I got in a relationship and we just sort of gave up that aspect. But we still text most weeks and have for the past three years.

We live about 300 miles apart, three hours by train. So when the opportunity presented itself for us to meet up for the first time in three years when I was in her city, we both jumped at the chance. And it was amazing! We got along so so well, had a few drinks and went for a walk and had our awkward goodbye at the train station because we both had no idea how the other felt.

Now it's three months on and we are completely crazy about each other, we're trying to sort of take baby steps but it's very hard. We've only managed to have one weekend together about a month ago since that first time but have two straight weekends together soon, which to be fair is what's keeping us both going. We talk as much as possible, text every morning until we sleep, just random stuff about our day. And we know we're not that stupid that that'll die down eventually.

However for me, I'm finding it hard to keep the balance right. I feel sometimes like I'm being swept away, this has been three years building but I'm also pretty certain we're going to end up hurt. How much is appropriate to contact each other? We have no idea, but it feels normal to talk all day so we do.

It just feels so so tough as well being apart this much, and I do it because I know those weekends we have together are amazing. We also haven't told any friends or family about us until we are sure we are heading somewhere together as in a future. It's just right in the middle of this two month period we haven't been able to see each other, so really I'm just after some positive stories that long distance can work!!

Ragwort Sat 10-Sep-16 18:54:11

My (now) DH and I lived about 200 miles apart when we first started dating (and it was years before mobile phones etc were common place grin) - we just met every other w/end ............. we have now been married nearly 30 years, so yes, it can work.

movingforward2016 Sun 11-Sep-16 10:33:49

I started a long distance relationship about 7 months ago! We spoke all the time and tried as much as possible to see each other every other weekend! Now he is moving within the next few months and we both can't wait smile

Although he has said early on if at some time someone had to move he would as he knows I have dd!

I guess as long as you Both know eventually someone will have to move and kind of thing along those lines you can see a happy ending in sight which makes it easier and then your not always worried about you getting too close or hurt!

ZestyDragon Sun 11-Sep-16 10:39:40

My dh and I lived 200 miles apart when we first met. We knew we wanted to give the relationship a go so we agreed we would meet every second weekend from Friday to Monday and after 18 months I moved to him. That was 6 years ago. What I would say is that you need a plan for the future, something to work towards once you realise (if you do) that they are 'the one'.

Crispsheets Sun 11-Sep-16 10:44:19

Yes we live 200 miles apart. See each other every 4 weeks for three or four days ... we've just bought a house.
Worked for us!!!
We talk for hours everyday.

YoureaFlutteringCunt Sun 11-Sep-16 10:45:22

I live around 2000 miles from my DP. We see each other roughly every 3 months.

Some days it's fine, some days it's awful but communication is key. We skype. We talk daily.

As hard as it is, it's worth it as I'd rather have them part time than anyone else full time.

user123456789 Sun 11-Sep-16 10:51:17

My now husband lived in Germany and I in Edinburgh, so it can work.

We used to meet in London quite a lot as the flight paths were easier.

FaceTime is your friend, as is watching films together, getting a take away at the same time etc.

It's not easy, at times I was envious of all my friends in "normal" relationships - but I wanted to be with him above anyone else so we made it work.

He had quite a demanding job and that put pressure on the amount we could speak, but we made an effort to see each other every other weekend.

I will say however, by year two we had committed to him eventually coming back to London / Edinburgh for us to live together so there was light for us at the end of the tunnel so to speak. That helped a lot, knowing it wasn't forever.

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