men!

[mummaclaire]

I don't really know where, to start. our situation is this, I am a mobile hairdresser, avon lady, tarot reading on phone lines mother and house wife super woman, husband works for a firm in a near by village, where he sometimes gets sent away over night with colleagues

I guess December is as good a place as any! I decided to check the phone bill, you have to keep an eye on Vodafone, they can be sneaky buggers! anyway, this number keep appearing on hubbys bill, only ever on a Friday Saturday and sunday night, while he is working his 2nd job (to pay for his motorbike) delivering pizza's, when he always tells me he is busy, he even text this number on dd's birthday meal! had a row/chat turned out it was a woman he works with! we have had chats about her before, she set my spider sense off iykwim. she has dragged him out clubbing while they were away for work but he never told me, she tells him all her marriage issues, which I feel is wrong, in my experience unless you have been friends with a member of the opposite sex since childhood, one party always wants more! and I would never tell a bloke my relationship shit.

anyway I was devastated that he had kept this hidden, knowing that it would upset me he didn't tell me he is in constant contact with her. I was fit to leave. we never have sex, still don't, not even a week after this, he has a wee accident on his bike, which made all the text shit go away.

we are still not physical and I feel neglected, we went away on holiday, so hes not tired, but he still isn't interested in me, I know sex isn't the be all and end all there is other stuff in the back ground too. he also hid it from me that he was given a verbal warning at work before we went away, I cant help but think what else is he hiding from me? I don't know when he got so secretive.

I just had a text from someone telling me that his and her are now friends on facebook.

I don't know what to do, I feel that the spark has gone, but with ds having issues I feel that splitting up is going to hurt him badly, we are not unhappy just not as happy as we could be. I don't know what to do. I just want to feel desired, I know I'm super over weight, his feeding doesn't help that!
anyone got any advice?

[Buzzardbird]

I don't feel this behaviour is exclusive to 'men'.

[Buzzardbird]

There are so many problems mentioned in your OP, I really don't know where to start. I think maybe counselling.

[mummaclaire]

haha maybe I should change the title to people :-)
we have been to relate, years ago, but that's another story for a different bed time, but we went though a make or break situation and I didn't want to spend my life blaming him for something that was not his fault.

[VestalVirgin]

she tells him all her marriage issues, which I feel is wrong, in my experience unless you have been friends with a member of the opposite sex since childhood, one party always wants more! and I would never tell a bloke my relationship shit.

I don't know, but to me, a man telling me about his relationship problems is a clear signals that he's not interested in me. Because all mentioning of an other woman is that kind of signal.

On the other hand, I never managed to be friends with a dude, they all wanted more eventually. (Or the friendship just fizzled out because they didn't invest much).

your marriage seems to not really work for you. Perhaps it is not so important whether he cheats (though that he is hiding this friend from you is suspicious) and more that there's not much going on relationship-wise between the two of you.