Just that really. I've fairly recently experienced my second bout of pretty severe depression. The first was put down to work stress and this time I've also been under a lot of stress with work and other things but for some reason this time my negative chatter has focussed on my relationship and I've really withdrawn from my partner and feel so empty of feelings which makes me think I need to leave.
For background, we've been together for several years, engaged but due to this latest episode have had to postpone the wedding.
I am going round in circles trying to decide if the depression is an illness that's causing these negative thoughts or if there is a real problem and the depression is because deep down I'm deeply unhappy.
The thing is I wasn't unhappy before - or at least I don't think I was? I'm just so confused and hate how badly my thinking is impaired and how numb I feel. My poor partner told me he feels like I'm picking him apart and like he's now having to prove himself to be worthy. I'm so upset that I'm behaving this way.
I was on medication the last time but trying to avoid going back on it this time as I did gain a lot of weight when on it before so trying to look after myself but I'm so lost and worried I will always feel this way.
Is it even possible to become severely depressed because of a relationship? When there is nothing abusive or bad about the relationship, maybe just nice guy but not right for me? I can't trust my thinking because I'm so anxious an irrational just now.
Surely if I was not in the right relationship I wouldn't suffer so badly with this severe a case of depression and anxiety?
Any encouragement or experience would be so appreciated, I'm drowning in a sea of confused thoughts and so sad. I hate feeling like this, everything is empty and I wake early every day with that horrible anxiety and it feels like it's eating me up inside and I'll never get back to how I used to be
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MH affecting relationship - help pls
8 replies
Pimfree · 09/09/2016 08:50
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