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Does your partner say 'I love you'?

(77 Posts)
winterisuponus Thu 08-Sep-16 14:47:03

A colleague at work always finishes a phone call with her DH with 'I love you' (this is of course perfectly fine). But it got me thinking about how many people in a relationship don't say that at all.
DH and I have been together for 15 years, married for 8 with DCs and there was only one time (at our wedding) when we said 'I love you' to each other. We have a beautiful relationship, we show each other every day that we love each other, we have great sex,we are very happy. We just don't like saying it. It feels very strange to say it to him, although we both say 'I love you' to the DCs hundred times a day. I'm perfectly happy with this, I prefer he showed me he loved me (as I do to him) than say 'I love you'.
I was just wondering if we were the only weirdos around or if there are any more 'I love you' - phobics :D

LolaStarr Thu 08-Sep-16 14:51:38

DH and I have been together for 12 years, since we were 16, and we say it all the time, at the end of phone calls etc. I think it's more habit than anything now though grin

gildedcage Thu 08-Sep-16 14:55:40

Funny you've mentioned this as I was only pondering this same thing recently.

I used to say it all the time to my dh but very rarely say it now, and when I do its in response...iyswim.

Although in fairness we have only recently started to add kisses to texts so make if that what you will.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 08-Sep-16 14:56:32

Dh used to say it every day until I told him it just sounded perfunctory. He says it a few time a month now instead!! We both the the kids loads too!

TowerRingInferno Thu 08-Sep-16 14:59:12

I say it all the time to the Dcs (and dog) but find it near impossible to say to dh, other than at the end of phonecalls. Then I do it because it is expected, I think.

Dh only says it to me during sex or at the end of phonecalls.

I too would rather someone acted in a way that demonstrated love than actually said it, although both would be nice. I fear I am hopeless at that too.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 08-Sep-16 15:01:53

DH does a lot. I find it less easy to say for some reason. I always answer his "I love you" but rarely initiate it.

VioletBam Thu 08-Sep-16 15:03:36

We say it....probably every few days. DH says it more than I do...I often say it back but he doesn't mind if I don't.

I grew up in a family where we don't say that to one another so it's a bit unnatural to me.

we've been together for 14 years.

SleepDeprivedAndCranky Thu 08-Sep-16 15:07:59

We say it to each other most days. Everyone does things differently, so do what works for you. There is no right or wrong answer.

BieneBiene Thu 08-Sep-16 15:08:26

We say it all the time.

It's weird. My family never, ever say it.

Flisspaps Thu 08-Sep-16 15:09:26

Yes, we say it a lot.

We say 'I like you' quite often too, and that means far more!

Perfectlypurple Thu 08-Sep-16 15:09:37

We say it all the time. We also show it too.

lazymongoose Thu 08-Sep-16 15:13:44

Multiple times a day, before hanging up on every phone call and before we go to sleep grin

TheNaze73 Thu 08-Sep-16 15:33:36

Once every 3 or 4 weeks. I was with somebody before who said it all the time & it became a meaningless phrase like when people ask how are you, just to break the ice.

Tote Thu 08-Sep-16 15:38:33

Never! We just don't have that mushy kind of relationship. I don't doubt for one minute that he does love me though. I'd rather see it in actions (which I don) rather than in words.

TheOptimisticPessimist Thu 08-Sep-16 15:43:06

Multiple times a day in various ways and different languages grin

Hearing it every day doesn't make it any less special to me. It always make me smile and realise how lucky I am to have him in my life.

KittensDoNotLikeFluffyBlankets Thu 08-Sep-16 15:45:40

We say it to one another a lot. It just depends what works for you.

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 08-Sep-16 15:53:17

Several times a day!

Before work, at the end of phone calls and before bed every night as a must. Occasionally through text and normally during or after sex as well.

I'm so glad OH is happy expressing his emotions though. ExP never did and it always made me feel a bit shit to never hear "I love you" without me saying it first.

winterisuponus Thu 08-Sep-16 15:58:14

Just to make it clear. There is absolutely no issue and I am very happy with fact that we don't say it. I guess we are perfect for each other if feels unnatural for both of us.
Other than my wedding to DH there was only one other time I did say 'I love you' to a man - a boyfriend I had when I was 18 smile
Like I said - we say to the DCs all the time smile

elastamum Thu 08-Sep-16 16:05:53

I say it a lot more than my DP does. And I tell my DC all the time. I think it is because the one thing I learnt from both my parents dying was you should always take the opportunity to tell people you love them when you are there to do so.

0dfod Thu 08-Sep-16 16:08:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maggiethemagpie Thu 08-Sep-16 16:08:54

My DH never used to say it that much, when I pointed this out to him he actually made a new years resolution to say it more often and stuck to it! Now he says it more than me.

Whilst it's true that actions speak louder than words, sometimes words are nice too particularly when its spontaneous.

Ikeameatballs Thu 08-Sep-16 16:11:48

I occasionally say it to dp, as I'm drifting off to sleep most often never in a big declaration, he has never said it to me in 18months however I'm as sure as I can be that he does. I tell my doc all the time, he tells his ds. With my ex-p we said it a lot but his actions didn't match that at all. I prefer what I've got now.

PacificOcean Thu 08-Sep-16 16:12:09

I say it all the time to DH. He says it less often, and usually in response to me. This used to bother me until I read about the five languages of love... My main one is words, while his main one is actions. Now it makes perfect sense smile

DoinItFine Thu 08-Sep-16 16:12:10

We say it pretty regularly and show it.

DH is not a remotely mushy or romantic man, or especially demonstrative, but he loves me so he says it and shows it.

I wouldn't realky enjoy being with someone who couldn't or wouldn't say that they loved me.

Actions don't alwats speak louder than words.

adora1 Thu 08-Sep-16 16:15:16

14 years and pretty much every day.

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