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Am I going about this all the wrong way?

(6 Posts)
knockingonheavensdoor Wed 07-Sep-16 13:26:56

Bit of background, I filed for divorce over a year ago, have been separated for about 18 months but due to financial reasons I am still living with my ex until we can reach an agreement that suits us both. I haven't had any kind of relationship since we separated but I think he has. We live completely separate lives and don't talk unless about the children or the divorce.

Anyway, I went on tinder about a month ago, mainly out of curiosity but also so I could have a bit of fun in my mundane life and help me deal with the shit I was dealing with at home. I never in a million years thought I would meet anyone even half decent, but I have. First person and only one I ever met with. We have been seeing each other properly since that first date, both on the same wavelength, both come off of tinder after having the exclusivity chat and I'm very, very happy, as is he.

My question really, is do I tell my ex? Is that necessary or the done thing? It does feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't be as like I said, I'm still living with the ex but I just have no idea how to handle this. I'd just like to add that I'm in absolutely no rush to introduce children, anything like that but is there any etiquette involved here? I've no idea what I'm doing. Anyone else been in a similar position and handled it well?

gamerchick Wed 07-Sep-16 13:31:25

Personally I probably wouldn't. It's none of his business and I'm assuming he keeps his private life to himself as well? It might make things awkward I you're both rubbing along together ok.

Nigh be worth pushing the seperation though.

MoosLikeJagger Wed 07-Sep-16 13:33:40

A month is not very long at all. I wouldn't tell your ex anything for another few months. I don't see how it would help.

knockingonheavensdoor Wed 07-Sep-16 13:36:01

I kind of decided it wouldn't say anything but then other people have suggested I should tell him in case someone or he sees us out together. That's when it crossed my mind whether we were doing something wrong. I know we aren't but it feels a bit cloak and dagger even though I'm not actively hiding.

Resilience16 Wed 07-Sep-16 16:54:40

None of his business at this stage. If he asks the question then I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't volunteer the information otherwise.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Wed 07-Sep-16 20:07:49

Your life is now none of his business. When the time is right for him to meet the kids then still no need to 'discuss' it. . You just tell him. Simple.

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