I recently cancelled my wedding to long term partner because I was feeling overwhelmed and having doubts about getting married.
I've been working through things with a counsellor who has helped my identify some of my negative thinking traits and tracing back the source of some of my anxieties.
At times I feel I am making good progress with the counselling and can see my anxiety is perhaps not based on any real issue with my relationship, and more rooted in my anxious thinking and difficulty in making decisions etc.
On the other hand, I worry that I'm working on convincing myself that things are ok and salvageable when they're really not. The old doubt means don't mentality springs to mind - but my counsellor has said this is not true and especially for people with anxiety problems.
I'm just struggling with my feelings of disappointment and failure just now about how this is all panning out. I should be enjoying being newly married and instead I'm picking apart my life with my FI and feeling like I've messed everything up and things can never be good or right again.
I almost feel like I should just run away from it all. My counsellor has said that I shouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water. But I've never heard of anyone in this situation before. We are supposed to be happy to be married. What does it say about me - and my relationship - that I've ended up making such a mess of getting married and now trapped in limbo.
I feel like I'll never know what's the anxiety and what's my gut talking to me.
I'm not even sure what I'm writing this for. I guess I'm hoping for someone to be able to relate to my situation.
I'm feeling so ashamed of myself just now and just have no faith in my ability to make the right decision and I'm just being so horrible to my FI and acting so distant because I don't know how to process all of this and move forward.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Confused over cancelled wedding
Anna6567 · 06/09/2016 23:12
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