I’ve been with my DH for 20 years, married for 4 and have two kids, 6 and 2. He works away from home Mon-Fri while I work FT and look after the kids. We’ve struggled in this time, had ups and downs, as he’s tired at weekends and often distant and sleeping lots so doesn’t always spend as much as time as a family as I‘d like. To be honest I’m tired then as well and we have the kids activities and housework to do so sometimes get into a rut. Every month we try to have one night out which is great and we enjoy it.
Anyway last year I discovered that he had been texting a girl from work saying things like “need to see your beautiful smile again”, which really hurt me. He said that she was going through a difficult time and he was trying to cheer her up, which hurt as I was also going through a difficult time being made redundant and coping with a difficult toddler and felt like I got little support from him. He agreed that it was inappropriate and that he wouldn’t do anything like that again.
Then earlier this year he started a new job. He was working late and a few times he said that he was working too late to get the train home on Friday night and came home Saturday afternoon. Then one weekend he said he was working too late again so came home on the Saturday night. I found a receipt on the bed from a cocktail bar dated the Friday night and was devastated at the thought that he would lie like that. He admitted doing this several times before and we had a long talk where he promised not to do it again and said that he lied because it’s easier. We said that we would make more time for each other.
This weekend I found a text to his friend where he sent a photo of a girl and “this is the girl I’m teaching guitar (smiley face)”. I know I shouldn’t have looked but something made me do it. Now I just don’t know what to think. I asked him to talk about what he gets up to while he’s away as I felt I didn’t really know, he talked about being in a band and how he works late mostly. I asked him if there was anything else he did with his time and he said no.
So now I just don’t know what to think. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but I just feel he’s lying again. Maybe it’s innocent but then why lie? I’m all over the place and don’t know whether I’m overreacting.
Does anyone have any thoughts?
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Relationships
Is my husband lying or am I overreacting?
LoubieLolo · 06/09/2016 08:53
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