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Is it possible?

(9 Posts)
Pleasegimmeanamechange Mon 05-Sep-16 18:52:21

Does anyone believe exes can become friends? I know on mumsnet and amongst the general populous, the rule is, block, avoid, move on. I'm in a place where I don't want to be back with my ex, we have been talking more recently. I find this hard sometimes, but at other times I'm ok. When he's not in my life I am constantly hurting, being just friends is easier than that. Tonight though we were talking and discussing his most recent breakup, it hurt, he may have moved on and to an extent I have, but, I still find myself caring about him.

Nothing will happen between us, nothing but friendship. Which is why I'm asking if it's possible to be friends with an ex like this? Is this part of the journey to get to true friendship?

Please don't advise me to walk away, I have for long periods of time and we always end up back talking to each other.

Catty2016 Mon 05-Sep-16 18:56:39

Think it depends. Why did you break up? Has the split been amicable? Some exes can be friends. Just depends on circumstances and if it's something you are comfortable with. Also depends if there are any children in the mix.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Mon 05-Sep-16 19:34:05

It was amicable, neither of us wanted to break up but it was for the best. I'm mostly comfortable with it, sometimes it hurts but I hate not having him in my life. There are no children's.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Mon 05-Sep-16 19:34:26

Apologies, no children.

Resilience16 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:03:19

If it hurts to hear about his new relationships and it hurts when he is not in your life then it sounds like you still have feelings for him and maybe hope you could get back together?
If you really want to move on it is best to go no contact,painful as that might be in the short term.
Not what you want to hear, I know. I think that if you are honest with yourself then somewhere along the line you are hoping to get back together.
Break ups are hard, and I wish you well, but if there are unresolved feelings on one side or the other then I don't think it is wise to try and be friends.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Mon 05-Sep-16 20:23:18

It hurts because he truly was my best friend, I do still care for him but I do not want to be back with him, too much has happened and he is not who I see my future with. I guess I was hoping the hurt would pass and a solid friendship could blossom from this? I've tried no contact (managed three months) but it hurt too much.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 05-Sep-16 20:26:41

Will you be able to move on and find a new relationship in time with him still such a part of your life? Would a new bf be happy about the friendship? I know you are upset right now but in the long run he may be preventing you from moving on with your life.

6demandingchildren Mon 05-Sep-16 20:38:01

My ex and me get on he has even offered to put me and hubby up if we are in his neck of the woods

Pleasegimmeanamechange Mon 05-Sep-16 20:42:53

I have been moving on with him in my life, I may not have found a relationship yet but that is because I am very particular and don't become attracted to men very often. Any future bf who would be unhappy with me being friends with someone no matter the history, isn't the sort of man I would go for.

Thank you 6demanding I can't explain how relieved I am to hear that. Was it easy to get to that stage?

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