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We don't agree on babies name ....

(186 Posts)
user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:30:57

I know it's a joint decision but I feel so strongly about this.
My late mum died when I was 11.
She was my best friend and we were always together and I'm now 30 and not 1 day goes by I don't think about her.
I'm an only child and I always said if I had a daughter I would name her after her.
Her name was Dinah I know it's a old fashioned name but I don't care.
It feels right and the thought of not calling her Dinah makes me upset.
My Oh says we aren't calling her that and he wants to call her Lisa.
I don't want it has her middle name.
I know I'm being unreasonable but I just really want this.
I feel like my mums memory will live on and she will always be a part of us this way.
I know I'm being selfish.
I don't know what to do :-(

Yika Sun 04-Sep-16 14:37:21

I think your OH is unreasonable here when this is so important to you. I don't think you are being selfish. I think if you feel this way you should call your DD Dinah. Is she already born or do you have some time to discuss it more. Why can't Lisa be the middle name?

cosmicglittergirl Sun 04-Sep-16 14:39:30

Why is he so set on Lisa?

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:39:35

No 3 months left to go.
It's not like I've just picked the name out of a hat I've thought about it for years.
He just doesn't understand why it's so important.
He hasn't lost any family ..he doesn't get it.
He thinks I'm being hormonal and stupid .

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:40:10

I have no idea ..he likes Lisa or Molly.

Scarydinosaurs Sun 04-Sep-16 14:41:30

Have you done the obvious- how would you feel if your mum died and you wanted to use the name?

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:45:21

(Scary) - no I haven't.tbh he isn't very emotional like that,he thinks practically and not uses his heart(if that makes sense)

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:45:59

What do you think of the name?
Is it too old fashioned?
I don't want her to get teased over her name

AppleJac Sun 04-Sep-16 14:47:48

How is it pronounced?

IneedAdinosaurNickname Sun 04-Sep-16 14:48:02

I think it's a lovely name!
Fwiw I don't like Lisa.

cosmicglittergirl Sun 04-Sep-16 14:48:42

It's really unfortunate that he's not keen on he name, I personally think it's lovely, and much better than Lisa which is 80s tastic. Obviously you've explained your reasons and he still doesn't agree. So your options are t continue to persuade him, tell him she's being called Dinah or choose a new name you both like. My view (which isn't popular on mumsnet) is that I'm these situations the woman gets the edge, what with the whole pregnancy/birth thing, but plenty of people don't agree with that. I wish you every luck in persuading him.

Sgoinneal Sun 04-Sep-16 14:49:29

Have you had a daughter or is this a hypothetical discussion?

I think you need to find a third name - did your mum have a middle name? Would you be happy using Dinah as a middle name? I understand how you feel but I also think if your OH really doesn't like it his objection is fair enough.

cosmicglittergirl Sun 04-Sep-16 14:49:30

*in these situations

Sgoinneal Sun 04-Sep-16 14:49:55

(Btw I prefer it to Lisa and Molly!)

theworstthreadspinner Sun 04-Sep-16 14:51:57

oh god I hate Lisa (and I have never met one I like - with no disrespect to any MN Lisa) and Molly is nice but soooo bland. I love Dinah. But your OH is entitled to his opinion too, but I hope you decide to use Dinah!

Yika Sun 04-Sep-16 14:52:42

I think Dinah is a lovely name, definitely not teasing material.

alfagirl73 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:53:22

Has he given a specific reason why he doesn't want to call her after your mum? Does he just not particularly like the name or is there more to it? Has he always objected to it (I presume from the way you talk and how important it is to you, this has been discussed before now) or is this a sudden objection? You need to understand the reasoning behind his objections/preferences in order to find a way around it.

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:53:24

It's prenounced DIE-NAH
It's a few months till she is here.
In a way I wish it was a discussion.
He said why don't we get a puppy and name her Dinah ????? Not really the same mark!!!

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 14:56:09

He just hates the name mum was born in the 50s and it was quite popular I believe back then.
He says it sounds (and il quote him) like a pensioners name.
Maybe when she is here he might change his mind.
I might look at her and think she doesn't suit Dinah ..the thought of her being called Dinah makes me cry ( hormones) no doubt but my mum was amazing and she has left a massive hole in my life and I just wanted my daughter to have her name.

GummyBunting Sun 04-Sep-16 15:01:09

I don't think it's right for either party to decline a baby name without discussion and consideration, no matter what the reason. It has to be a joint decision.

Is there another name that reminds you of your mum that your OH may prefer? Maybe her middle name, or fovourite flower?

GummyBunting Sun 04-Sep-16 15:01:43

*decide, not decline

user1471888857 Sun 04-Sep-16 15:06:51

No she never had a middle name.
Can't think of anything like a flower.
Her fav perfume was opium ..don't think that would go down very well with him either wink

ColourfullyWonderful Sun 04-Sep-16 15:07:43

Dinah is beautiful. Lisa reminds me of the Simpsons and the 80s.

He is being very callous here dismissing your feelings on something that clearly means a lot.

I think I'd be putting my foot down. Dinah Molly is pretty.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-16 15:09:56

Tbh, even if it's a name he doesn't love, in his position I'd give in simply because of the sentiment associated with it. I'd say he has his chance to choose if you have a second baby.

ColourfullyWonderful Sun 04-Sep-16 15:10:04

When was her birthday? For example if it was May you could call her May, Lily, Emerald ... All related to the month (birthstone, flower, month name)

Lily Dinah, May Lisa etc.

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