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Relationships

Christening and divorced parents

4 replies

r2d256 · 04/09/2016 13:11

Hi there!

I was wondering on how best to handle a situation in the most sensitive way possible.

My mum and dad divorced over 25 years ago, dads moved on and remarried approx 2.5 years ago. Mum whilst she had boyfriends never really found anyone else (she still held a candle for my dad and still beloved they'd get back together someday).

It's quite a sad situation as my mum lacks confidence and feels sad about being alone. I didn't talk to my dad for 3 years as it was my belief that he was "leading her on" I'd seen it for myself and disapproved of his behaviour. My dad and I never met till I was 9/10 and my mum had always been there for me and it was my belief that she deserved better to be taken for a fool. In hindsight (a wonderful thing!) maybe I shouldn't have got involved and let things take its course but I defended mum and me and dad lost contact.

Wind on to now! I have a 6mo DD of my own and I always said I would invite dad back to be a grandfather, true believer of everyone deserves to know where they come from. He is trying lots and we've had a few nice meetings/days out. Fine.

It's my DD christening soon and whilst I know both parties have a right to attend (I wouldn't say dad couldn't bring his wife, it's not like she's the other woman !) I know mum won't end up enjoying the day, she'll sit there attempting to hold back the tears. I don't really know what to say to her in preparation for the day as technically their relationship ended over 25 years ago or what to say to dad for that matter for the day to run as smoothly and sensitively as possible- whilst actually being what it's supposed to be about (my DD!)

Anyone have any suggestions? TIA

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VimFuego101 · 04/09/2016 13:19

Honestly, your mum needs to put her feelings to one side for the day. How big a do will it be, will there be enough people there that she can easily avoid your dad? Is your dad willing to be civil to her?

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r2d256 · 04/09/2016 13:23

She will know loads of people there, far more than my dad who will know a few of my friends and husband! :)

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Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 04/09/2016 13:34

She needs to get her glad rags on and show him what he is missing!! I am sure your df and his wife will be more nervous about the day!

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r2d256 · 04/09/2016 17:28

I'm sure they will too. I struggle because they haven't been together for a very very long time so unsure why it would bother her but I know it does. I'd hate the thought of her hurting on such a special day but there's nothing I can do either !