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Crossroads

(4 Posts)
Humblebee1 Fri 02-Sep-16 14:58:40

Partner of 15 years has been caught cheating, discovered on phone after I had hunch due to his out of character nasty personal comments during a petty argument. He initially lied, but once he new I read messages on work phone had to come clean. Only the whole story of what was going on was fabricated. I had to discover the truth myself. Like being drip fed pain over weeks. OH worked away and had met OW on one of numerous online dating sites he joined. Not a word to me about any unhappiness between us. Everyone adores him, but he is a brickwall emotionally to me. He has said he has made big mistake but I feel I have mistaken his character and he has made choices he new very well were a deal breaker. I feel fooled, and its not my trust in him but my own judgement, I adored him. Don't know what to do, two kids and another on the way. I feel he is only doing the minimum to get back in the house. I am so f'ng angry and past being devastated. I need to move forward obviously but scared.

lakefaith Fri 02-Sep-16 15:08:42

I'm so sorry, I truly feel for you what your going through sounds awful. He went on dating site to look for an affair. I think that in itself tells you a lot about the thought about "mistake" I think it's up to you what you do from now. If you can forgive that he went out looking to be with another women and if you can trust him again or try to then maybe you could try and make it work but there is now a huge trust issue. You have done nothing wrong and you will meet someone who won't treat you this way, it's up to you if you can move on from this point?

Humblebee1 Fri 02-Sep-16 15:31:13

Thanks faith. Whether I take him back or not is one painful issue, if it was just me and him the no way. but its how to forgive this at all, for the sake of my own self. I am terrified of the scar this is going to leave on me and my kids. I don't want to be an angry bitter person. being around him makese angry. Being apart makes me sad. Yet he is so measured.

Humblebee1 Fri 02-Sep-16 16:34:55

Its like he has caused all the damage but I'm the one with the responsibility of choosing wjether the kids are going to be brought up in a broken home, which he knows breaks my heart. I doubt he will try hard enough though and fear he is now on some damage limitation to himself only.

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