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update about the PILs and fluffy monkey balls

(20 Posts)
bigfriendlygiant Fri 02-Sep-16 11:40:39

I was reading a thread a while ago about posts which people would like an update and I'm sure mine was mentioned. I was very flattered that I've been remembered on MN but the thread got pulled.

Brief background: PILs stopped talking to us because we called our son first name + DH's surname + my surname (fluffy monkey balls).
Lots of crap spouted by them: not a proper family; women don't pass names down; should have called him my dad's first name; don't care about them.
There was the saga of the silent Skype calls.

Update: We live overseas and visited the uk early in the summer. DH got in touch with PILs to say we'd be back and ask if they'd like to meet fluffy. After a long delay the said they would. We arranged to stay with BIL (the flying monkey) and we'd meet them there.

Trying to keep it nice and short:
They are so self centred they are more concerned about his surname than the fact he was in NICU and their own son is still processing what happened. They couldn't care less!
They interacted with fluffy but not in a grandparent way iyswim. There were no cuddles or feeds or helping with bath time (and I did offer).
They said they'll never get over his surname.
- he's nearly 1.
We're expecting a second monkey balls and there was no congratulations.

On the plus side DH has seen them for what they are. He told them that if they continue with their attitude towards me, he won't have anything to do with them. He said we won't be making the long trip to his home county next year, if they want to see the children they can come to us. He's stopped trying. It's heartbreaking for him and he's still struggling but he knows it's for the best for all of our sanities.

All because of a surname! It's so very sad.

Bloody women getting above themselves, wanting to keep their surnames AND have the same name as their offspring! This feminism malarkey is getting well out of hand.

bigfriendlygiant Fri 02-Sep-16 11:44:41

Oh! I forgot to mention...

All the posters who said about flying monkeys and sudden illnesses were right!

The sickest was MIL telling DH she been getting nose bleeds so got referred to the cancer doctor who gave her the all clear. There has been cases of cancer in my family and this is not how a cancer is investigated and diagnosed.

crabb Fri 02-Sep-16 11:45:58

Thanks for the update! I remember your story. It was pretty well the craziest behaviour I've read about on here.

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers Fri 02-Sep-16 11:47:05

I remember your thread...

What awful, self centred idiots. Their loss, and heartbreaking for your dh.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Fri 02-Sep-16 11:48:35

I remember it too!
And congratulations on bump!!

Soubriquet Fri 02-Sep-16 11:49:00

I don't think I saw your first story but gosh. What a palaver

All because of a name. Just remember they are the ones missing out

GoldPlatedBacon Fri 02-Sep-16 11:53:01

Oh yes I remember! How sad for your dh. Such a bizarre thing to be annoyed by.

bigfriendlygiant Fri 02-Sep-16 11:53:43

Wow I cant believe people remember smile

I still can't quite get my head around putting a surname before your child/grandchild! I don't understand why it's so important that it's likely they'll never have a close relationship with little fluffy.

It is their loss. I feel for my DH though, he has an excellent relationship with my family but it is MY family. So it's his loss too.

Fluffy won't care, he'll never know any different.

pauldacreshairlessnutsack Fri 02-Sep-16 11:55:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RatherBeRiding Fri 02-Sep-16 11:59:15

I remember your thread - thanks for the update! I do feel very sorry for your DH but also very glad that he has seen them for who they really are and your DC won't have to put up with their ongoing crap. Silent Skype calls indeed!!

Thank goodness your family are all sane and DH gets on well with them!

Congrats on bump! flowers

bigfriendlygiant Fri 02-Sep-16 12:04:45

I'm sure if it wasn't he surname they'd have another reason too, but because these troubles have arisen from my surname I do feel a certain amount of responsibility and guilt.

At the same time, I feel relieved he does have my surname and not just the surname as those crazies! I imagine feeling a massive amount of regret if I hadn't expressed my wishes.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 02-Sep-16 12:37:42

I remember you well.

Your H had to see for himself what his parents really are. I note without surprise you have also mentioned flying monkeys and fake illness.

Did you ever get around to reading "Toxic Inlaws" by Susan Forward. Your senses of guilt and responsibility here are truly misplaced. You are not responsible for their actions, they are.

Its all to do with them being narcissistic in nature, they wanted power and control over the two of you and this is truly how such disordered of thinking people do operate. If it had not been your surname they would have gone mad over something else and done the same.

Keep yourselves well away from his parents as well as your flying monkey of a BIL. He is not your friend here either.

bigfriendlygiant Fri 02-Sep-16 13:06:18

Attila you were right!! What a predictable pattern of behaviour.

Thank you for all of your advice during the worst of this.

redexpat Fri 02-Sep-16 20:31:12

I remember you! Sad that they can't see what theyre losing. Still, you can't argue with batshit.

Paintedhandprints Fri 02-Sep-16 20:47:56

I hope you've stopped the weird silent Skype calls.
You're better off without them tbh. Some people are so self centred.

bigfriendlygiant Sat 03-Sep-16 12:06:52

My family aren't completely sane** and we have our fair share of drama but we function quite well together , ratherberiding. I suppose that's what makes it so difficult for me to understand these people. I'd need to go to some great lengths to get my parents to cease contact!

No, you absolutely cannot reason with batshit.

bigfriendlygiant Sat 03-Sep-16 12:07:18

Bold fail!! blush

Joysmum Sat 03-Sep-16 15:15:20

Personally I think you and your partner should both actually change your names to fluffymonkeyballs and then the DCs to match. grin

LaContessaDiPlump Sat 03-Sep-16 15:17:40

I remember this blush thank you for updating, they are definitely batshit!

bigfriendlygiant Sat 03-Sep-16 15:29:08

Joysmum we are expecting #2 so maybe that's an option grin

I can't believe my ILs are so crazy they're memorable!

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