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Having trouble with a friend

(8 Posts)
user1472680009 Wed 31-Aug-16 22:53:24

I have a friend that I'm having difficulties dealing with. My husband and I got married recently and the plan was to start trying for a baby pretty much straight after the wedding as we've been together for quite some time but I've been at uni for ages and it just hasn't been right. However, two women in our circle of friends announced (well 1 announced and people guessed with the second) that they're pregnant.

My friend has been really snarky about them and whenever anything pregnancy related comes up, she makes some comment about how ooh, you don't want to have kids yet, you've only just finished uni, you want to live your life a bit, enjoy being free, blah blah blah. I brushed it off at first, but she keeps making these sorts of comments and it's getting to the point where I'm really annoyed. I'm now dreading the thought of ever telling her that I am actually pregnant cuz I don't think she'll be excited at all.

The thing is, she makes comments about how some of her other friends have had kids and she feels left out of that circle of friends because of it, but I actually feel like she's pushing me away by acting like this. I also think there might be a jealousy factor, as she's still single after having had a really bad breakup several years ago.

I want to be a supportive friend but I'm worried this may break our relationship when it eventually happens.

Jillspa Thu 01-Sep-16 06:26:11

This so called 'friend' would annoy me tbh - she doesn't sound very mature at all. The way I define maturity is people allowing people to live their lives and be themselves. Crack on and have your baby whenever you want!!

Overthinker2016 Thu 01-Sep-16 08:11:51

Cut her some slack. Sounds like you have everything she wants out of life.

allthecarbs Thu 01-Sep-16 08:15:28

Worry about it when it happens.

LiveLifeWithPassion Thu 01-Sep-16 08:22:20

Tell her to stop being so negative and that you love the idea of having kids, whenever it happens and then change the subject.

Applecrumbling Thu 01-Sep-16 09:43:57

I wouldn't take it personally. Perhaps she genuinely thinks that's the best way forward for you?

Cameforarant22 Thu 01-Sep-16 11:47:56

Is she single? She sounds quite jealous, maybe she's anxious it won't happen for her.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Thu 01-Sep-16 20:56:24

It sounds like she is shaming you for something that you have not done yet. She is presuming that you won't have time for her (projecting other's behavior onto you) when you have a baby and is punishing you for it before you possibly fade away into parenthood.

All you can do is reassure her it won't be the case (and try to live up to that). But at the same time, I'd make it clear that you will not be putting up with her behavior regarding this (what is it?) passive aggressive manipulation. She can bemoan the self fulfilling prophacy all she likes-she is clearly laying the ground work for it. But I can't see how she would be gratified in it becoming reality- a bigger pity party for one?

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