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Help for raped friend

(15 Posts)
Fooshufflewickbannanapants Wed 31-Aug-16 16:33:53

My friend was raped by her partner when she came home drunk. Partner says she's twisting it. Is there any where I can find advice on the law as she is doubting herself


Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 16:51:59

The law is clear enough:

ImperialBlether Wed 31-Aug-16 16:55:24

Your poor friend. Is she willing to speak to the police?

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Wed 31-Aug-16 16:59:29

I've tried to get her to speak to police and rape crisis but I now can't contact her and I'm worried. She made it clear before that she wanted nothing to do with him due to a porn discovery, then went out with friends and got drunk. He told her next day they must be OK cos they'd had sex and she was wasted........

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 17:02:29

Very difficult to comment on whether she had capacity to consent, or whether he had a reasonable belief in her consent, OP, sorry. Those are the main legal questions when someone is intoxicated.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Wed 31-Aug-16 17:05:21

He told her she was wasted I'm so confused as to how to help her

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 17:07:58

What does she remember happening?

Do you know how drunk she was? Do you know, for example, how much alcohol she had consumed and of what type?

I would suggest she goes to the police if she believes she was raped.

ImperialBlether Wed 31-Aug-16 17:09:56

I think she should talk to the police, too, and sooner rather than later.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Wed 31-Aug-16 17:20:20

And no she doesn't remember

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 17:22:47

Okay, OP, but what does she remember? I am happy to offer whatever useful insight I can and I am sure other people will too, but you are providing such limited information that it isn't really possible to say more than that it is possible, but certainly not definite, that she has been raped, and she should seek help from the police and get the hell away from him.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Wed 31-Aug-16 17:29:32

I'm sorry about lack of information it's all I've got. I know you guys will help and I promise I'm not keeping anything back. I have limited info as that's all she has told me. I think it must be very hard for her to talk about it especially so as she was sexually abused by close family when she was younger. I will keep trying to get her to contact rape crisis and police.
Thank you

Trifleorbust Wed 31-Aug-16 17:32:02

I see. Yes, I think that is the best advice you can give her.

Comejointhemurder Wed 31-Aug-16 17:36:24

I'd suggest she speak to the Police but with the awareness that it might not lead to a charge.

I would definitely suggest she speak to Rape Crisis.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Thu 01-Sep-16 07:33:23

Quick update she has spoken to rape crisis and they are helping her. He is leaving (so far) and now she's worrying about practicalities which I am much more confident at helping her with. Not sure if police will be involved yet but she is seeing her gp this morning and feels a little bit stronger. Thank you for your help

hellsbellsmelons Thu 01-Sep-16 15:40:23

So pleased she is getting help and has a good friend to help her through all of this.

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