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Have I failed again?

(4 Posts)
rarara99 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:33:13

My ex and I split up in 2011 due to him running up huge debts and being a hopeless father. I got back with my teenage sweetheart and everything was wonderful initially. However, he is plagued by anxiety and it is ruining our relationship. I have urged him to seek help but he refuses. As a result we rarely socialise, sleep together or talk about anything other than his worries. I feel like I am always under immense pressure to raise my 2 children alone, work full-time as well as act as his emotional crutch. It has got to the stage where I feel that I should end this relationship and move on. However, I don't want to fail again at another relationship. Also, I am really scared of being alone, who wants a single parent woman in her mid 40's?
Please advise, part of me feels like I should battle on with him, whilst part of me really wants to start again and hopefully meet someone.

adora1 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:47:33

Your mind set is what is keeping you there, not him; I think you've tried and done enough and also being a single parent in your 40s is nothing nowadays, there are plenty of single parents out there.

I assume you have only been with him a few years, you are not a failure, sometimes things don't work out, it's not a personal reflection, it's just the way it goes sometimes.

I think you have enough to contend with and don't really need this drain because he has continued to use you despite you asking him to seek help.

I think you are wasting your time and should move on, I wouldn't really call this a relationship.

rarara99 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:55:33

Thank you adora1! You are absolutely right, it is not a relationship and I don't need this drain. You've made me feel much better already :-)

adora1 Wed 31-Aug-16 16:21:19

It's hard to give up, we all want to make things work and stay far too long in dissatisfying relationships, all of us do it.

I just think you don't need to martyr yourself for another person, it's not as though he has even tried to address it or admit he has a problem, it's not fair for him to expect you to just suck it up, there is no relationship there, you are just there to keep him happy, who keeps you happy?

One life and all that.........

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