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Don't understand why good friend hangs out with an ex of mine.

(3 Posts)
lolaflores Tue 30-Aug-16 14:07:39

A very good friend hangs out with a man I went out with some years ago for about 8 months. My mother and family disapproved (they didn't know him, they just disapprove, no reason needed).

In that time, he said he hoped my mum got cancer! Asked friends of his to break into my mums house to "scare her" Attempted to hit my 5 year old daughter, lied about me. A month after we split he got his new fiancee to ring me at work and tell me to fuck off....I hadn't spoken to him been near him. General nastiness. He is a racist, ignorant all round twat.

We have a friend in common. In fact she introduced us. She has been friends with him since school days. After myself and him finished,
I didn't expect her to take sides or any of that, yet I wonder how she can be around someone quite so vile?
Recently on her FB, every weekend is spent in his company having lots of nights out whereas before she may have seen him (and his wife and her husband) once every few weeks. She is no doubt more than aware of his "views" even though she herself is as far from his outlook on life as is possible.
Then, she has suggested she come and visit me (we are abroad) at Halloween. We have been friends for a long time and when I split up with this man we continued and it didn't impact our friendship. However, as they seem to have turned into very close friends and knowing what i know about him, I am begining to look at her as if I don't really know her.

If she can be very close friends with such a person, what does it say about her own values. Do we really have that much in common? How much can you overlook in someone because inside they are a really nice person, misunderstood etc.
She is supposed to be visiting me at Halloween (we live abroad) but I don't know if I can face her. I don't know if she is the person I used to know. Or was she this way and I never noticed

CreepingDogFart Tue 30-Aug-16 16:41:43

She was friends with him before you so I think you need to either accept it or fuck them both off. And don't waste any time analysing it.

IreallyKNOWiamright Tue 30-Aug-16 20:11:56

Sounds like they have had some history before you. I'd move on and let them get on with it. He sounds vile and she is being an idiot.

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