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How do I get things back on track?

(2 Posts)
facepalming Tue 30-Aug-16 14:03:44

DH and I have been together for 5 years now. We have a 2.5 year old and 9 month old. I was made redundant just before have ing Dc2 so at the moment I stay home while he goes to work.

He is out of the house 12 hours a day and travels every month or so also.

He is the love of my life and we were best friends but nothing feels right anymore.

I'm always stressed and tired, he is always tired. We don't argue much we just don't seem to have that connection any more.

we have no family around so don't get any time on our own. I've tried making the best of it with date nights - getting dressed up, cooking a nice meal etc. I've tried to make sure our sex life remains good and interesting but nothing seems to work.

He doesn't make any reciprocal effort.

My birthday is coming up and so we had friends at the weekend. I haven't been able to have a drink for years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding so was really looking forward to a glass or two of wine. I had told DH this and that I would only have one if he abstained as the little one is being quite unsettled and I wanted to ensure he was OK.

I came downstairs from putting the kids to bed and he was drinking with our friends. I didn't even care about not having a drink it was his disregard for me that felt like a final straw.

he then got really annoyed that I was bothered by it.

nothing feels the same with us these days - I miss my best friend.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 30-Aug-16 14:48:17

He doesn't make any reciprocal effort
This is the issue.
YOU are trying and he is NOT.
Why are you doing all these things to get nothing back?
You cannot save a relationship on your own.
It's impossible.
Have you sat down together and discussed what to do next?
If not then that is your next step.
Write out your thoughts.
What is wrong what is right and how to compromise on the things that need work.

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