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What does "love" feel like to you?

(9 Posts)
crossroads3 Mon 29-Aug-16 23:52:51

That's all really. Have been with dh for 20 years but for many reasons I don't really think I want to be with him anymore (much easier said than done). But maybe after 20 years feeling disconnected is normal?

Am just wondering what loving a partner is "supposed" to feel like because maybe I am kidding myself, and I would realise how much I had actually loved dh if we were to separate?

Runoutoftime16 Tue 30-Aug-16 07:17:37

Depends who you ask, those who have been in a relationship for year will be telling you the most wonderful things.

Those after 3 years will be saying he's still considerate. After 7 years he will have the itch. After about 10 years hardly talking as a general rule!

FlounderingWildly Tue 30-Aug-16 08:05:23

I was thinking about this yesterday. I've been with H for 18 years but after counselling I'm pretty sure I want to separate. But now I'm having a panic about being wrong.
When you look at your long term DH, do you feel a pull towards them? Do you still fancy them? Do they stir feelings in you?
I get that relationships mature and its unlikely to have the same spark as at the beginning but what does a good long term relationship turn into?

TheNaze73 Tue 30-Aug-16 08:06:28

Wanting to run through a brick wall to help or support your partner

grassisgreenerwhereyouwaterit Tue 30-Aug-16 09:21:07

Wanting to spend time with them more than anyone else, knowing you'd be in their side no matter what, always being happy to see them

offside Tue 30-Aug-16 09:31:07

Love in our relationship is supportive, constructive, safe, secure, easy, quiet, sometimes irrational but always there. Our love is reflected back to us in our DD's face and actions - she just loves family cuddles and kisses, it melts our hearts.

Dolphinsanddinosaurs Tue 30-Aug-16 09:38:17

For me it is feeling like home is where DH is. Nothing exciting like it felt at the beginning, but safe, secure, supportive, and easy. That's after 13 years, not sure how we'll be in another 7, but I'm hoping it won't change too much.

Tanfastic Tue 30-Aug-16 09:40:14

Same as Dolphins.

wonderwoo Tue 30-Aug-16 09:51:40

I am not entirely sure! Been with my DP ten years and we are certainly not as we were in the beginning. Life has been hard for a few years though and I feel like our relationship has been affected by that. It does however feel safe, secure and if I am vulnerable or need something, then he is the person I want around me. I will be honest, he does annoy (as I am sure I do him), and I frequently do not feel happy to see him at the end of a long day (more a reflection of how I am than what I think of him though), but that is probably because I take for granted him being around. He was out overnight recently, which never happens and I really missed him.

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