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Anyone tried a trial separation? DP has moved out for 6 months to save our relationship

(9 Posts)
Roastandgravy Mon 29-Aug-16 12:59:28

I still fancy DP, I like him, he is intelligent, affectionate, a good provider. He is also funny and does most of the housework! I once thought that he was my perfect mate.

BUT we've had a difficult time. Trying to blend two families, step children. I moved and mounded myself to his life and home. But then the revelation from my DP that he had got cold feet after I moved in. I then found out he had started to text other women.

It was awful for a while and I kicked him out, even though it is his house, but we have a young son and I financially couldn't move anywhere. He left but came back very much wanting to be with me. It got a bit better, and then we went to counselling.

We both have now agreed that he move out for 6 months so try and restart our relationship. Has anyone else done this? I don't know what else to do, it's like if he stays in the house he doesn't put the effort in that is needed.

bikerlou Mon 29-Aug-16 13:04:21

Texting other women? Sorry but it sounds like this relationship is dead in the water to be honest.

Plus the added stress of stepchildren, if that was me I'd be asking the council to rehouse me even if it meant living in a hostel for a bit.

FreeFromHarm Mon 29-Aug-16 14:11:25

Has he taken his children with him or left them with you ? Does he own the house ?

Goodadvice1980 Mon 29-Aug-16 14:32:09

Sorry OP, he doesn't sound that committed.

I fail to see how him moving out for 6 months will save your relationship.

Hope you are able to move out and ditch his cheating arse!

PotatoBread Mon 29-Aug-16 14:38:30

I fail to see how him moving out for six months is meant to help things? Will you still be a couple during that time period or 'on a break'?

JackandDiane Mon 29-Aug-16 14:41:57

love doesn't have to be so hard.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 29-Aug-16 14:47:11

I don't get we went to counselling. How is him attempting to cheat on you a "we" situation?

He cheats, you decided to pretend he doesn't because you have a housing issue and he can spin a good line telling you what you want to hear. Shame he can't follow through with actions for long it's like if he stays in the house he doesn't put the effort in that is needed. He's a future faker.

I like how he has swung it so he can still have a "relationship", presumably that means sex and nice evenings out, but do none of the daily grind at home with your child or general household stuff. All the fun, none of the crap. Sweet deal.

How old is your DS? How old are his DC and your other DC? Where do they live? Why did he split up with the mother of his DC?

ImperialBlether Mon 29-Aug-16 14:47:28

You're not left with his children, are you?

For me, the texting would be everything and the relationship would be ended.

JennyOnAPlate Mon 29-Aug-16 14:50:56

Well moving out will certainly give him plenty of time and opportunity to text other women, won't it? Was it his idea?

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