Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Why do they need to tell me? Annoying ex inlaws

(3 Posts)
Lifeisabloodysoap Mon 29-Aug-16 09:34:22

Hey everyone name changed for this one.

So a month ago I went to a lawyer to sort out some stuff with ex. We sent him the letter in email because be cancelled his lawyer. So he has been paying the mortgage on the family home since he left in Jan and I have been providing for 2 kids. He hasn't seen ds (3) since may and dd (6month) since March. Hasn't made any attempt to see them.

Right so we sent him the email 4 weeks ago giving him 2 weeks to reply. He didn't have to see a lawyer just wanted a yes or no. 1. Could Me and the 2 kids move back into the family home and I am taken on all of the bills he is to just pay maintenance because it's a safe secure place and our current homing is affecting the kids. Also the amount of maintenance as well. So my lawyer got acceptance that the email had been opened.

I bumped into his dad in my family home he was telling me how ex is really upset and down he misses the kids he has no money he is in 5k debt. He's really not looking you after himself. Now he's not spent a penny on the kids not even a nappy since he left so he's obv spending it on the ow. I asked about the no reply to email as I was going to csa and his parents had no idea about the email. So asked if I could send them it to try and sort it out.

So as instructed by my lawyer I contacted csa got the ball rolling and his dad called me. Ex is raging that you have went to csa he has no money he's paying the house etc etc. Then yesterday I seen his mum who claims he never received the email and again how much debt he is in.
Was I in the wrong for going to csa?

Sorry for the long post I'm just confused as to why they need to tell me about ex's life with ow when all I want is for him and them to be in the kids life. I don't need to know about his life the same as I do not need to tell them about my life.

DownTownAbbey Mon 29-Aug-16 09:50:12

No, you're not wrong, they are. They're trying to guilt you into letting him off paying for his responsibilities. The fact that those responsibilities include their grandchildren seems lost on them. Who knows what lies he's feeding them. You're probably being painted as a selfish money hungry old bag instead of the wronged wife and full time carer of his kids. Ignore and continue. One day he'll be up on his feet again, possibly fathering more children, paying for another wedding etc. He's lying about the email and about everything else.

Lifeisabloodysoap Mon 29-Aug-16 10:22:29

Down- oh I know I'm the worst person in the world to them I know that I am the bad lady that won't let their son see the kids. Despite the fact he refused mediation for the past 6 months to get a plan sorted.

I have asked his family so many times to be involved in the kiddies life's but nothing.... I've even had to return to work early for money as being on mat leave wasn't covering it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now