Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

finding love in later life

(22 Posts)
happyandsingle Sun 28-Aug-16 10:53:09

could I have some messages of hope about meeting someone later in life. I'm 37 been singles a long long time and I'm losing hope at ever finding a decent man. I'm doing online dating but it's hard.
Any positive stories from people who have found love at my age or older would really cheer me up.
I have an 8 year old dd so not desperate to have kids but ideally I'd like one more but realise I'm probably to old for that now.

TheNaze73 Sun 28-Aug-16 11:45:23

I would hardly call 37 later life OP. smile

You've got years ahead of you. Don't chase the old man of China, let the old man of China chase you flowers

BonneMaman77 Sun 28-Aug-16 11:53:18

I wasn't expecting 37 when I read the thread title!

I am 39 and yes it is possible. I seperated and am nearly divorced from my DH who I'd been with for 12 years. I've been with a man for 6 months now and I know that I love him in a way I never loved anyone before! Decent men are out there!

I remember relationships being easier when I was younger, no angst. But now given my baggage and his, we have had some difficulties to deal with. But we are good now and the feeling of being with someone I love is bloody brilliant!

I don't have kids and don't want any. But one of my friends met and married a man when she was 40 and has had 2 girls since. So 38 is not too old as you think.

I've not done online dating but there are threads on mums net with lovely women sharing their OLD experience, do look those up!

Good luck!

FreeFromHarm Sun 28-Aug-16 11:53:18

I like that saying TheNaze, never heard that before.
I am 51 with a teen and hoping there is someone for me... I am not doing OLD, scares the hell out of me
You are still young OP as Naze said.

QueenLizIII Sun 28-Aug-16 11:55:21

What if you are the same age as the OP and have no baggage at all?

Never been married, no DC. Had a few relationships but noene of them resulted in marriage or children.

I was thinking I was too old and washed up.

BonneMaman77 Sun 28-Aug-16 12:14:05

When I say baggage I mean the lessons, preconceptions and expectations that come with life experiences and age. Personally, every relationship I've had (all 4😜) gave me atleast one experienced which has moulded the next.

The older we are the more of this we have. And of course we were fearless when we were young!

Helbelle75 Sun 28-Aug-16 12:17:24

I met my dh at 38, he was 39. Neither of us married before, no kids.
We go married last October and I'm now pregnant aged 41.
37 is not old at all, most of my friends have for married in their late 30s.

user1471184355 Sun 28-Aug-16 12:21:36

I agree with others here, I was single for 10 years before meeting dp. I was 39. It's not too late by any stretch of the imagination smile

Hillfarmer Sun 28-Aug-16 12:36:18

Bloody hell! If 37 is 'later life' what does that make me at 50?

Like you FreeFrom, OLD scares the hell out of me and I ain't doin' it. I want to find a nice bloke someday.

Cabrinha Sun 28-Aug-16 12:37:22

Another that was surprised at 37.
I'm currently lying next to my fiancé that I met (OLD) last year, whilst my similar age as yours child swims in our rental holiday villa pool.
We've had a smashing brunch in the sun following some great sex grin
I'm 4 years older than you.

Get out there and have fun, and date as well!

SleepingTiger Sun 28-Aug-16 12:59:07

The love of my life crashed into me one evening when I was 50. Since then I have been growing younger every day.

I just wasn't expecting it. But then this is how love works best, how it works its magic. What was meant to be an after work networking event changed everything. Turned our lives upside down, inside out, and it has never been the same again. And I can still tell you the date, the time, the weather and even what we had to eat that night.

And as for kids, well she came to me as a 45 year old with two daughters, 3 and 1 years old. If we have a child ourselves it will be a blessing, but not a need, and may well happen. Between us we already have four much older kids from earlier lives.

At 37 you have the whole world ahead of you. Believe me, you should be happy, out there living life to the full. Make changes to you if you are not happy. But do not seek, put yourself about. That is what men do, make themselves available. Let the men come to you, let them do their bird of paradise dances in the rain forest, as they surely will, and then make your choice.

Be open. Lightning can strike. When it does, grow young together. You have plenty of time.

Just5minswithDacre Sun 28-Aug-16 13:02:02

37? 'Later in life'??! Sod off you cheeky baggage grin

Just5minswithDacre Sun 28-Aug-16 13:03:01

I don't think there is a trick to it, is there?

MeganBacon Sun 28-Aug-16 13:09:04

DH and I got together when I was 50, married when I was 53. My best friend got together with her now dh at 52. 37 is only an age to be concerned about if you want more kids (even so you have time). Once the urgency of that is removed, it's no more difficult than at any other age.

bikerlou Sun 28-Aug-16 13:17:06

Yup, I was a single mum for 10 years, probably longer actually, didn't have a single date and only trolls would ask me out. I had pretty much given up on finding anyone and was totally resigned to being single.

Then at 40 I was invited to an aquaintance;s barbeque, didn't really want to go as I didn't know anyone else going but thought I'd better make the effort, there was a guy there and it was love at first sight stars and everything.

He moved in with me 2 weeks later and we've been happily married for 15 years.

Never give up hope :-)

greenlizard Sun 28-Aug-16 13:26:07

I was single for most of my thirties and then met my lovely DP when I was 40 through a work event. I now find myself the ripe age of 47 the step mother to 2 teenagers, the mother of a 17 month old and am 32 weeks pregnant with another!! Getting married next year. Shocked the hell out of me......gringrin

It happens all the time - I have loads of friends who have started new and great relationships in their 40's so worry not. Make sure you are just enjoying your life and who knows who/what may come your way. smile

TealGiraffe Sun 28-Aug-16 13:29:53

My friends mum got married last month, she's 62 and met her fella on last year. She's the happiest i've ever seen her!

My other friends dad is 59 and in a ltr with a woman he met online 2 years ago. He was wary of online dating but decided to try it for 6 months. Met his girlfriend after 1 month and blissfully happy. Quite gross actually they can't keep off each other grin

I'm currently 30 and single, but not worried about it. I think it helps that i don't want kids so don't have the ticking bio clock to factor in.

SleepingTiger Sun 28-Aug-16 13:33:40



Just goes to show, lightning does strike.

Take a walk outside, into the rain.

Justaboy Sun 28-Aug-16 13:37:02

TealGiraffe How very pleasant it is to read that account:-)

These youngsters eh;?. Wait till you get to my exalted vintage just got my first government pension payment the other month really nice to have them give you something back;)

Must got out an paint the town and start all that youthful womanising again.

Err right ;!

user1471184355 Sun 28-Aug-16 13:42:54

Oh I meet my dp by chance as well, no OLD and certainly wasn't looking for it. Try not to worry :-)

Sunbeam18 Sun 28-Aug-16 13:49:41

37?! Why would you be too old to have another child? Met my partner when I was 38, had my son at 40. I think you are being very pessimistic! Enjoy your life!

Myusernameismyusername Sun 28-Aug-16 15:29:25

I've been single for a long time, I wish I had some advice to give but mostly I try not to think about it and not get depressed when other people find their happiness (try and make my own on my own!)

I have just put aside trying to meet someone now and trying to do all the things I have always wanted to do. I really want to save up one day and go to Italy. I want that more than I want a partner I think. Try find something like that to focus on?
I have a bit confidence problem - I am completely ok at making a new friend with anyone on the street but I don't think I am attractive so I think that shows to men and they are put off. I really want someone to like me for the spotty, overweight me and not the glossy me I could 'fake' being. I have ended up being that woman who worries about having sex and my make up coming off confused

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now