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Co-Dependancy?

(11 Posts)
Pleasegimmeanamechange Sat 27-Aug-16 14:07:43

I think I may have been in a co-dependant relationship, we broke up, we tried again and we spent months trying to make it work. It wasn't going to work so we broke up again. Sounds normal so far right? No, every time someone asks me how I've been or what's been happening in my life, it comes back to him and how he felt or I felt, I spend a lot of my time wondering what he's thinking or why he does what he does. I carefully word texts so he won't be upset by what I say or so he won't get angry.
Does this sound co dependant? How do I break these thought patterns?

maisiejones Sat 27-Aug-16 15:31:38

Why are you 'carefully' texting him? Just stop. You've broken up so cut all contact.

TheNaze73 Sat 27-Aug-16 15:37:28

By stopping the texts

TheHeartOfASaturdayNight Sat 27-Aug-16 16:42:31

Cut him out. Stop texting him. Just stop.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Sun 28-Aug-16 00:37:57

I've been working so couldn't reply immediately, that's part of what has me wondering, I can't cut him out or stop myself replying to him/ texting him.

AprilSkies44 Sun 28-Aug-16 00:41:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AprilSkies44 Sun 28-Aug-16 00:43:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHeartOfASaturdayNight Sun 28-Aug-16 00:58:20

Well you can stop. You're choosing not to stop.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Sun 28-Aug-16 10:02:51

Thank you April I'll be reading through that site today.
I know everything is a choice, but I get too anxious if I don't text him back, so I have to.

12hours Sun 28-Aug-16 10:06:09

Pleasegimme - why don't you just try once not texting back? What's the worse thing that can happen when you have already broken up? If you can't do that, try leaving it for a few hours at least. Then thr next time, another extra hour, and then another until it turns into a day and then two days. It's like an addiction, try to withdraw slowly. It's worth a try? Good luck.

Pleasegimmeanamechange Sun 28-Aug-16 13:07:41

I will try that 12hours, that's good advice,
I have completed a quiz and discovered I am mostly dismissive/fearful avoidant and I think my ex was rather anxious in his attachment style. I will have to get counselling for this I think.

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