My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Do I tell the other woman?

9 replies

RunnnyMummy · 26/08/2016 10:51

First post, so be gentle, thanks.
Been in relationship with a guy for over 2 years and I thought things were good between us. We had a rocky patch a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving to let him think about our relationship. I was almost out the door when he stopped me and told me he didn't want me to leave. Actually cried. So I thought we were ok.
Stayed at his house a couple of nights ago and something's not right. So in the morning I looked at his phone and discovered loads of very explicit texts between him and a woman I don't know. Doesn't look like it's gone any further though.
He's done this once before which is why I was suspicious. I didn't say anything at the time as I wanted time to think.
I texted him last night to ask if I could see him at the weekend. But so far I've had no reply.
I will speak to him and ask him for the truth (then dump him) but what about the other woman? I've got her phone number. Do I let her know what he's like or let her carry on and he'll probably do the same to her eventually?

OP posts:
Report
PepsiPenguin · 26/08/2016 10:53

Put on your trainers and run run run

Forget about him and the OW and focus on you!

He has already checked out since he hasn't responded to you

Report
RunnnyMummy · 26/08/2016 11:13

Unfortunately my work means that I usually see him at least twice a week. I can't avoid him and it's likely I'll see him for work tomorrow. I hate being left hanging like this. Not really knowing what's going on.

OP posts:
Report
amypie86 · 26/08/2016 11:21

I'd text him and tell him it's over. It's not worth wasting any more of your time with this guy, especially when he hasn't even replied to you. You say you don't really know what's going on but you do deep down, I think you're probably just hoping there's a chance it can be saved but it reality he's clearly a snake.

Beat him to it and end it. As for the other woman I wouldn't bother. I'd just walk away from the whole situation and be thankful I escaped.

Report
PastoralCare · 26/08/2016 11:26

Just go about your business.

If he asks just say it's over and move on. Don't burden yourself with other thoughts.

Report
RunnnyMummy · 26/08/2016 15:13

Thanks for your support. I finally got a reply that said "you're not going to like this. But I'd rather you didn't stay at mine this weekend. sorry xxx"
So I went to his house and asked him face to face - are you seeing someone else? He said no, quite adamantly. So I mumbled something about giving him space to think about what he wants. I was only just holding it together at this point.
I shall treat myself to a good old cry and some wine tonight. Then move on.
And I've taken all your advice and I won't do anything about contacting the other woman.

OP posts:
Report
SandyY2K · 26/08/2016 17:03

Save yourself the bother and end it. Don't even mention what you saw just tell him it's not working for you. Don't waste your saliva talking to him.

Report
Shayelle · 26/08/2016 17:11

Im sorry you are hurting. It sounds horrible. I think definitely stay away from him though. You cant trust him x

Report
FreeFromHarm · 26/08/2016 17:16

You deserve better, don't listen to his tears...lies and begging ...Dump.

Report
Resilience16 · 29/08/2016 22:44

Get rid. He's a cheat and a liar. You deserve much better.
Delete his number, block him and go NC. Stay professional at work but otherwise move on.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.