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Dating an introvert

(7 Posts)
fabbiwabbidodah Fri 26-Aug-16 09:13:17

Can someone talk me through what it's like dating a highly introverted guy?
When we are together he is really attentive, great listener, incredibly affectionate and loving, a very sweet guy.

However when we are apart communication is difficult, not too talkative on the phone, texts are sporadic, sometimes we ping back lots of texts back and forth, other times none for a day or so. He never ignores my texts.

I'm also introverted (to a lesser degree) and appreciate the need for distance. I'm also a believer in the 'rubber band theory' of men needing to distance themselves in order to ping back to you.

I guess I'm being a bit paranoid, but I tend to mirror what he does and wait for him to make contact, I just wanted to know of other people's experiences if you have dated introverts and is this generally the way it goes?

Geraniumred Fri 26-Aug-16 09:19:41

I am one as is my DH. We carried on a relationship at a distance for a year or so. We wrote letters to each other and phoned each other every other day. This was in the days before mobiles and Facebook. He has always been a bit awkward in the phone. You could try having a firmer, more regular contact arrangement. Even now I'm not all that keen on texting as it feels like an interruption - mostly I use it to arrange stuff rather than chat. But I'm quite happy to write a letter.

Crazycatladyloz82 Fri 26-Aug-16 10:33:51

DH is an introvert. It used to drive me crazy with the lack of communication when we were apart. He still does it even now as he travels a bit for work and when he is away I barely hear from him as he doesn't think to call etc. I now call him and email him when he is away and then he often calls me following an email or text prompt. They need a bit of prompting and sometimes you have to take the initiative.

fabbiwabbidodah Fri 26-Aug-16 11:13:25

Thank you both.
Geranium I wish that texts didn't exist, it would make dating far simpler in the early days of dating. When you meet someone online, obviously texting is the main way of getting to know a person, before meeting. When things go well and you are then dating, well lengthy back and forth texts just aren't sustainable or necessary and it's hard to get your head around that change. Texting causes far too much stress for me in my dating world, and I need to chill.
crazycat yes I agree completely the lack of communication does drive me mad too, tbh I know I'm just being paranoid but my mind does tend to go into overdrive, and not knowing him really well (early dating) it's a learning curve of getting to know one another and not read into things. Still crazy-making though confused

PastoralCare Fri 26-Aug-16 11:33:55

It would be interesting to know why else you are dating him.

So far we only get one side of his personality which sounds slightly negative.

At some point, you need to decide whether his positive characteristics, whatever they are, outweigh his introversion and whether you'd spend the rest of your life with that kind of person.

fabbiwabbidodah Fri 26-Aug-16 11:44:14

When we are together he is really attentive, great listener, incredibly affectionate and loving, a very sweet guy
Did you miss this bit pastoral ?

PastoralCare Fri 26-Aug-16 11:51:46

Yes I did, sorry.

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