Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

AIBU talking a problem through is effective?

(8 Posts)
starsandstripes2016 Thu 25-Aug-16 20:22:44

Dd2 has anger management problems and cannot yet recognise she needs counselling. We're on tender hooks waiting for a blow. DH very distressed but will not talk to me. I've learnt not to put him under pressure. In the meantime I'm getting on with my own things whilst there's a terrible sense of foreboding hangs over the house. When she does kick off, it'll be every man for himself.

I believe talking means we can share thoughts and concerns and then be aware of each other's intentions

bluecashmere Thu 25-Aug-16 20:37:46

People deal with things differently though. Some people like to discuss matters immediately and others like to wait until they are ready. Maybe if isn't comfortable with discussing face to face you can ask him to write his thoughts down?

Would family counselling be an option to address both issues?

starsandstripes2016 Thu 25-Aug-16 20:51:43

Thanks Blue. Tried everything. Just wondering if there is an alternative to talking! Whether I am the one with the blind spot?

starsandstripes2016 Thu 25-Aug-16 20:52:03

Thanks Blue. Tried everything. Just wondering if there is an alternative to talking! Whether I am the one with the blind spot?

Joysmum Thu 25-Aug-16 20:53:53

Try letters.

I've resorted to this in the past when I don't feel I'm being heard or understood and it means I don't get interrupted and can follow a logical train of thought without forgetting or getting overwhelmed.

Believeitornot Thu 25-Aug-16 20:57:26

Ask him when is he prepared to talk?

ethelb Thu 25-Aug-16 21:10:47

How old is DD2? It is quite rare that difficult family situations are the fault of the person everyone is blaming according to my therapist.

Family counselling with some individual counselling for all of you may help.

starsandstripes2016 Thu 25-Aug-16 22:30:50

Ethelby - you're right. We've attempted family counselling. I'm continuing with it in order to recognise my patterns.

However, given that all the advice leads to counselling, seems this is the strategy and maybe I'm not far off the mark.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now